Re: thinking of the future... darkrose: [quote author=shpek link=topic=35540.msg377004#msg377004 date=1159897810">
darkrose: Atleast you are having some days when u r totally fine. I'm very slowly feeling better but i cant say ive had really great days and am happy. [/quote">
I wouldn't say the good days are totally fine..but I have days when I don't want to curl up in a ball and die. I've been pretty good for about 2 or 3 weeks up until this weekend and I think I hit bottom today. I'm very worried about a friend of mine right now for reasons I can't (and won't) disclose. Let's just say she might be joining us here on ojar..
[quote">
i understand how talking to her can trigger it. I too wonder how my X could be so damn cold and just walk away like I never mattered. THAT i dont get. Seems like women can do that more than men but maybe i'm wrong. Any women want to comment?[/quote">
In my stbxw's case, I know what it is: She takes after her mother. She calls her mothert "The Princess of Darkness". She wasn't always like this around me, but she's turned into a completely bitter, miserable person. She hated me because I made her daughter feel good about herself, at least for a time. I can tell you that she's pulling the strings from my stbxw's side of the divorce..which is sad in itself.
[quote"> The lonly thing is tough. I never feel lonley when I'm happy either. But after a break up that you didnt want, well that's another story. I dont know how some people can just bounce back so easily. Does anyone else??
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I spent a great deal of time this weekend questioning if I really am ready to move on. Last Friday was the 8 week/2 month mark for me..and looking at the calendar, yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of the big blow-up that landed us in counseling. We were married for a hair over 4 years and together for about 6 or 7 total.. I can't be ready to move on after 2 months--but then again I think I was emotionally preparing myself for what happened a year ago..so it's been a year, not 2 months.
Yeah, it's lonely..especially at night. Even more so when my friends are out doing things and I'm home with my son. I've been trying to do things to keep my mind off of it.
Re: thinking of the future... broken_halo: Your womens response..... Trust me, I asked the same thing about men... I just think that the person that wasn't that into it anymore can bounce back like nothing happened. My x-broke up w/me 3 1/2 months ago. He has a new lady in his life, the kicker--- I knew her & she was a great girl. Its his best friends little sister... Whooooooo, that one hurt. So he's moving on with his life & I'm trying to move on with mine. It does get better with time, but there's still not one day that goes by that I don't think of him. He's everywhere to me.... But I feel like I deserved better when I was in the relationship, so now I try to convince myself of that again. Hang in there champ... we'll bear a scar, but sometimes you have to go through the bad, to really appreciate the good. :)
Broken_halo
Re: thinking of the future... shpek: broken_halo: i guess you're right. if something is right, and there's true love, i think things, anything almost can work out. I bet that hurt finding that out. We both deserve better than how we got treated. People can be so dishonest and backstabing. You think you really know someone....
Bearing "A" scar? I have more than one. Believe me i've been through the trenches, more than once, it's like when is it going to be my time, with the right one. It's so frustrating to go through this.
I like to think i already appreciate the good. I dont take forgranted what I have because I've been through enogh to not lose appreciation.
Re: thinking of the future... broken_halo: totally, but you also have to remember that we do deserve better and we have to know when to stand up for ourselves, cuz NO ONE else will do it. Trust yourself, your gut feeling.... I think my problem was that I was too nice, he broke my heart 3 times and every time he came crawling back crying, i couldn't bear to see him hurt the way I did.... But in taking him back, I hurt myself because I knew the kind of man or little boy for that matter, that he was. We have to put our foot down, and know, trust that we can and deserve an awesome life with the company of people that you can truly trust. We have to know when its worth fighting for and when to walk away.. I learned it the hard way. We're here for you!!!
Just look at how beautiful the sun or the moon is, and smile... Take it all in, the good, the bad--- its all a part of life bro!
Are you a book reader?
Re: thinking of the future... shpek: i hear ya. i had to stand up for myself with her and i did. she never came crawling back or anything-least that would have made me feel better. but nothing, she just left and that was it. sometimes i think i'm too nice too. i'm no doormat but i'm a good guy. i can;t be a dick because it's not me but i wont let someone walk on me either.
you all have been great by the way.
i read yes.
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