Re: thinking of the future... darkrose: I'm going on 2 months now.
Some days (yesterday) I'm fine. I feel like I can conquer the world...I feel like everything's going great and nothing can stop me. I feel alive and happy and in control of my life.
And other days (today), I just feel like I'd be better off dead. I usually get this when when I have to talk to the stbx. I had to email her with a few things and she IMed me asking how my son was doing in regards to his burns.. so I had to deal with her and I think that's what caused me to crash. She just makes me so angry with how cold she is towards EVERYTHING. Then I get upset at myself because I let her get to me. Those who anger us control us.
And I get lonely too. Last night I was feeling very alone..because I was upset..I don't feel that way when I'm happy.
But that's just me.
Re: thinking of the future... shpek: darkrose: Atleast you are having some days when u r totally fine. I'm very slowly feeling better but i cant say ive had really great days and am happy.
i understand how talking to her can trigger it. I too wonder how my X could be so damn cold and just walk away like I never mattered. THAT i dont get. Seems like women can do that more than men but maybe i'm wrong. Any women want to comment?
The lonly thing is tough. I never feel lonley when I'm happy either. But after a break up that you didnt want, well that's another story. I dont know how some people can just bounce back so easily. Does anyone else??
Re: thinking of the future... fkunone: You're going to meet someone int the way you least expect it. Granted, nobody around here is expecting someone just to fall out the sky for ya, but at the same time, go about your life as your life. Meet people just to meet people.
Once life rocks for you, you can rock on with life.
Re: thinking of the future... shpek: Thanks, good advice.
Re: thinking of the future... broken_saint: shpek,
i know exactly what you mean. there were things i loved doing and there were things i just didn't mind doing. Then, when all of this happened, something just took all of the desire i had for anything and threw it away. that spark that got me off my ass, vanished. i just DID NOT want to do anything but sit on my front steps and stare at the ground.
i'm a bit over the 5 month mark now. i must admit, it has gotten better. i have regained more control of myself again and i'm able to see things clearer in regards to what she did to me. but at the same time, i still have my moments. we all do.
i just have to keep reminding myself that this is what SHE did, this is how much SHE cared and i DID NOT deserve to be treated so horribley.
feel free to PM me if anything =)
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