Re:Old Member New Found Strength?? Safetykc: Big Hugs Old timer....I remember way back when that our divorces where almost timed for the same day and when yours fell through I worried for you.
I am so sorry you are back here, yet glad you sound like you are gaining strength and support for dealing with this awful situation.
All I can say is you are not stupid for feeling the way you do and being torn in so many directions. You feel how you feel.
Try to take it day by day and keep up with the Alanon meetings. I remember when i was young a kid i was friends with went to them as his father was an alcoholic. Actually the whole family went and it really helped them.
Good luck though leem. I hope you can find some peace in all this soon.
Big Hugs again, figured you needed a second dose!! ;D
Safety
Re:Old Member New Found Strength?? leem03: Thanks Safety...I remember all too well...December 11th was it? Seems like so long ago & yet here I am in no different situation really then I was back then. I assume I will forever be in Limbo Land. It's hard to give up on something when there potentials out there for good to come of it.
I truly believe in my heart that we really could be great again if we get rid of a few demons. Problem is, those demons are HUGE! So as I'm not ready to make final moves yet, I sit back and wait! I know that's really not the best thing for someone to do, but that's all I can really do till he gets it all figured out.
Right now, I don't see it really working out, but ya never know, stranger things have happened. It's hard too, because I'm the one that kicked him out of the house, even though I don't want him gone. Living the way he was living wasn't helping either of us. Now that he's gone he is starting to heal on his own. Again, problem....maybe I was his demon to begin with & he's doing better because he's not around me. UGHHHHHH!!
I really feel like I am the absolute wishy washiest person on these boards. Everyone is making headway with their lives & here I sit. I know it's my choice to sit, but how can I not sit & wait if there could possibly be a reconciliation??
Re:Old Member New Found Strength?? picadilly: Hardly Leem. You can always wonder if you were responsible for where he was but the reality is he made his own choices, his destiny was in his own hands.
Every action has an opposite & equal reaction. Like the Matrix... cause & effect. Once you booted him out he realized how much was wrong & is now working on fixing that. Had you not done that, the status quo would have prevailed & there would have been no big kick to his butt & he would not be on that road.
Do the ends justify the means? In some instances, yes & this I think would be one of them. Don't second guess yourself & your actions, which will get you no where fast. If the chance of reconciling is there & you feel you can do it, then by all means, try.
Best wishes to you.
Re:Old Member New Found Strength?? Safetykc: It was December 1st actually, A DAY THAT WILL LIVE IN OJAR INFAMY!!! Kind of like January 1st on OJAR when we all got naked and flirted in foreign languages...hee hee ::) Not that I remember much from that New Years Eve OJAR party, drunken haze and all that rot. Pip Pip cheerio... Hee hee :P
Ughh :-[ Just went back and read what I posted that day. Its on page 32 of the Tell Your Story Here Thread if anyone wants to relive that glorious moment...
Whew, I had forgotten how emotional that was. Blah...Come a long way baby...
Ok, enough of the blast from the past.
Leem, STOP BERATING YOURSELF!!! You are doing the best you can. Who cares if it takes another month or another year. Everyone is in different stages here on OJAR, some shorter some longer. Just take it day by day and do whats right for YOU on YOUR schedule and no one elses. That way you will know in your heart you did EVERYTHING you could.
It will come in time. At your own pace.
Hang in there and BIG HUGS my friend,
Safety
Re:Old Member New Found Strength?? leem03: Oh Safety......December 1st! How could I forget. (probably because I tried like hell to forget that day). Sad thing is nothing has really changed since then. Same ups & downs as before.
Same stupid Wh*re still trailing him around. How do people do that? Don't they want to be happy on their own without hurting other peoples lives? I just want to take her & strangle her for being such a complete ass.
Anyways, eventually in a decade or so from now, I'm sure I'll get this darn thing figured out!
