6 Months Out and Many Lessons Learned ih8BeinAlone: Hello all, some of you probably remember me, to other new comers my story is probably similar to yours. I just wanted to share with you all a life perspective after 6 months of being out of a 5-year relationship and some of the more significant lessons that I’ve learned in the process. I’ve taken so much advice, resources and time from this site that I figured I owed it to you guys to give something back.
First, my status update: Looking back to where I was 6 months ago, things have gotten remarkably better with my life. No more sick to my stomach feelings, constant worrying, or the frustrating hope for a reunion. I also don’t miss the sleepless nights, the panicked nightmares, feeling like garbage in the morning. You all know what I’m talking about; you have been there or are there now.
I’m finally able to wake up and feel comfortable that I’m alive. I can appreciate that I have another chance at life. Don’t get me wrong, the majority of my thoughts are still about her, yet I am able to make more sense of them now. The pains associated with the sad, guilty emotions that occasionally linger on in my mind have a more dulling effect. Bottom line, the intensity of the pain has subsided. For those of you with doubts, you will get there in time! I promise!
Here are some lessons that I’ve learned.
1. When it’s over it’s OVER. – Don’t waste your time worrying about whether your spouse or significant other is going to come back, who they are with, or what went wrong. It’s called a breakup because it is BROKEN. It’s okay to be reflective but don’t turn it into a habit.
2. Make a clean break. – If you own mutual property, divide it up. Get rid of pictures and reminders as soon as possible. These things will prevent you from moving on. Don’t keep that hair dryer in hopes she’ll come to get it in a couple of days, it’s not worth the emotional stress.
3. Find something to do. – I don’t care what it is, basket weaving, skiing, biking whatever. My activity happened to be running. I can look back and see how much those long runs helped me to get her off my mind.
4. Realize that you are not alone. – Think about how many people are experiencing a breakup or divorce right now. Ever wonder why 70% of every song you hear is about a breakup? Because everyone has experienced what you are experiencing right now.
5. Always look forward. – Tomorrow is another day. As my friend always says, the sun is scheduled to come out tomorrow-on time.
Good luck! Stay strong.
Re: 6 Months Out and Many Lessons Learned brielle123: What you say and most importantly the steps of advice that you give to try and cope is very inspirational and so true.
It does get better...once you are ready to accept the demise of your relationship and can start to move on. I am just now getting to where you are at and trying to reflect as you have done as well.
I didn't know you during your dark times, but it is always nice to hear from a fellow "survivor" of this hell all of us on here have gone through or are currently going through....so thanks to you :)
Re: 6 Months Out and Many Lessons Learned big_daddy: Thanks man...always encouraging to hear the tales of those who have survived.
Re: 6 Months Out and Many Lessons Learned AMG: [quote author=big_daddy link=topic=35557.msg377075#msg377075 date=1159901002">
Thanks man...always encouraging to hear the tales of those who have survived.
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ain't that the truth!! cause I sure don't feel it right now!!
Re: 6 Months Out and Many Lessons Learned dontgetit: Well, in 8 days I will have been "out" for a year.... If someone had told me last October how different and frankly "great" my life would be in October of 06 I would not have believed it... To all those just starting out there journey - stay strong, it will get better....
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