A letter to myself.... Crystal_Blue_024: Dear Self,
A learning process... That's what everyone always tells you these mountains and hills of pain are in your life... Opportunities to learn... I know you are tired of learning... I know you are ready for flat ground and no more hills... But you can say it all you want, and the hills will still be there, and damn those hills...
Crystal, you are a good woman, and you know that... You know you have an amazing heart and soul, and have so much love and loyalty to offer the right person... Don't short-change yourself... Don't "settle" just because you are afraid of being alone... Don't allow yourself to be the second string to someone else because that's all he will give to you... Don't allow him string you along... If he can't see you for all you are, then there's nothing you can say or do that will make him see it... And frankly, if he can't see it, he's a moron... You can't "make" someone want to be with you... And you shouldn't have to...
You know in your heart that he will never leave his ex... You know you did the same back-and-forth thing with your ex for 4 years... You know it won't be over in 3 months... And don't you sit there and wait around for him... You have your own life... You have great family and friends... Don't sit there "waiting" for him to come around, because more than likely he never will... If he can't see what he could have with you now, he won't see it any different in 3 months... And you really don't need to be involved with someone who doesn't know what they want, and who isn't ready to let go of his relationship with his ex...
I know he told you from the beginning this was just going to be a "casual" thing, and your feelings got more involved then you should have allowed, but you're only human, you only have so much control over feelings you get for someone else... But you have to take a step back now... You have to keep yourself protected... It hurts to walk away when you want somethnig so badly, but you have to because you know that you're not getting what you need from him, you're not getting what you deserve... Walk away....
With love,
Me
