Re: The way she made me feel for finishing it the way I did plagues me. jmarie: [quote author=someone0356 link=topic=35599.msg377618#msg377618 date=1159972672">
Since you took her back before she may have figured she was the cat's meow and could get away with whatever she dished out to you. I am proud of you for being so courageous and leaving her because you know you deserve so much better. It takes a lot of courage for us to leave when we know the heartbreak that we will have to go through.
Since she gave you the double whammy I think the letter was even more than she deserved. my two cents
[/quote">
I am in total agreement with both points. Hang in there!!!!
Re: The way she made me feel for finishing it the way I did plagues me. AMG: I think w/ people like that the only way to get through to them is w/ a letter. The have to shut up and read it and cant wiggle their way out. You can say every thing you need to say w/ no interuptions. They will of course still deny it and twist it in their head, but one day... they will have to face it.
She is just trying to guilt you. Give herself a reason to blame you. Really, is there a right way to break up???? You did the best you could, and you do not owe her anything! When she left the first time, and made no real attempt... she lost the privlege of your respect.
Re: The way she made me feel for finishing it the way I did plagues me. tygerseye04: Hi EZ,
My ex was a jerk to me before I left him. I gave up my dreams of being a professor, stood up to my family for him for years, and I moved across the country to be with him. When I got to where he was he treated me pretty bad. Then, he wanted me to move across the country with him again. And did he ask me nicely? No! Not only did he not ask me nicely, he acted like a complete and utter *SS and basically tried to force me into going by making me feel incredibly bad about myself.
So I left, and he is the one ignoring even my most basic attempts at communication. (He has some of my stuff). I wrote him a letter, which was a mistake, but I am not going to beat myself up over it.
Anyway, my point is, don't let her plague you. Some people just have "tunnel vision" and can't see beyond their own nose. If anyone should feel guilty, it's her. I dont mean to say that you were perfect, but you didn't treat her the way that she treated you, and she deserved to be left.
Some people just can't/won't come to that realization. They won't admit that they're wrong because that would entail acknowledging (and ultimately dealing with) their deeper flaws.
Re: The way she made me feel for finishing it the way I did plagues me. fiona: You're making yourself feel this way. It's over. Could'of, should 'of, would' of, blah.. As long as you feel you did your personal best with what you were feeling at the time, you're the only one torturing yourself now. The past is dead. If you're living there and 'stuck' mindfully, you're only half-alive in the current. Start living in the present. Why do you value her opinion so highly?
Re: The way she made me feel for finishing it the way I did plagues me. ChiefWiggum: ezydriver:
If it makes you feel any better, I broke up with her face to face after finding the evidence. Sometimes I wish I hadn't even done that. I wish I just disappeared, moved, changed numbers, and been done with her. In practice, I'm not sure how I could have faithfully implemented "no contact" in the first few months, but I think it would have been fun. (She was also 200 mi away)
My point is no matter what you did, you would be second guessing yourself later.
I don't think you needed to visit her and I'm sure you agree.
CW
Click More for the next page.
