Re:I figured this would be worthy of a new topic cloud: Best of luck, Wayne.
While you may be swimming in emotions on the inside, you sound like you've got a good sense of reality in terms of how things make turn out in your situation.
Re:I figured this would be worthy of a new topic picadilly: Good luck wayne. Just remember that this is the same woman that told you she thought the divorce was a good idea a couple of days after the first time she questioned it. As I told you in my other post, be aware she maybe on a yoyo rebound of sorts, lets hope she is serious.
Be well & best wishes.
Re:I figured this would be worthy of a new topic wmessin: An update...
Just got back from my counseling session and the stbx did show up for it. We had a lot to talk about and I thought it went well.
Then we were both walking to our cars as we were leaving and she started saying how she wasn't sure....was still very much confused, didn't want to hurt me....knows that whatever decision she makes she'll wonder about the one she didn't make....just doesn't know anymore.
So yet another flip flop. My God why do I do this to myself.
Re:I figured this would be worthy of a new topic picadilly: Why do you do this to yourself? Do you really want to know? Are you really looking for the truth in the matter? Or do you just want some sugar coated answer that you can just read over & feel good?
You still love her. Yes.
You want your marriage back, as it was. Yes.
Will you ever get it back, as it was? No.
This is the truth. Your stbx just admitted it to you. If she chose the marriage, she would always wonder how much greener is that grass on the other side? & then you can probably count on your hand the weeks or months it would take for her to falter & drop you like a hot patatoe once more.
Why do you do this to yourself. Because you have hope that things will just go back to the way they were. Do you honestly believe that it will? Can you honestly look me in the computer screen & tell me that you can forgive & forget… no nagging voice in the back of your head wondering if she’s planning to leave you at any time?
You can’t force her to love you the way you love her. You can’t pray that because she comes back to you, that she’s going to be the same as when you first knew her. She took your heart, broke it & is offering you some glue with a bit of tape to repair it. And you accepted it, that is what is so amazing to me. You know she waffles, yet you still take the bait & you wonder why you do this to yourself.
Sorry, I don’t want to sound harsh or mean, I know this is a hard time for you, believe me, I know, but damn it man, I’m tired of your being hurt by her. Why aren’t you tired of it? That’s a question you should be asking yourself. How much more do you want to be stepped on & pushed into the crowd by her? Till she figures out what she wants? She will never figure it out because she has you so handy to go back to, to test the waters once more. As I said before, STOP ALL CONTACT till she has had some time alone to know what it is like to be on her own.
Anyway, I know you may read this & you probably will ignore this post. My bet is that next week you’ll be posting again about how she is yanking your chain. I know, again, I’m being harsh. & I know, you love her still & she is hard for you to let go. But are you really in love with someone that so readily hurts you? Or are you in love with the idea of what you had with her once? Be grateful you knew her when you did, that you had some great times. But just be cautious. That’s all I can say.
I hope you find the peace you deserve.
Re:I figured this would be worthy of a new topic wmessin: I just had basically that same discussion with my sister. I can see what everyone else sees but it's just hard.
I guess that's what I get for having an overabundance of patience. Plus I know just how much I really do love the girl. But like you said it won't be the same and I'm just being used right now. Of course she'll deny that, but that's to be expected.
I plan on not speaking to her anymore. I just hope I can stick to that for the long haul.
crap,
Wayne
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