Guilt cloud: Long story, but I'll make it short.
We both wanted the divorce, we both decided to work on it again, now she wants the divorce and I don't.
We both have anxiety. Except mine is about the loss of my marriage and the changing role of being a non-custodial father. Her anxiety is about being a single mom--making ends meet, etc.
Is it wrong for me to feel guilt about her being a single mom?
I feel bad about it. I shouldn't. I'm the one still being a moping fool to some degree about wanting to work things out while she's supercharged to go forward with the divorce.
Yet I still feel guilt about it. I don't want to see my stbx struggle. I don't want to see her jetting off to Miami Beach, either.
If she wants this divorce than I shouldn't feel bad, right?
If I'm paying my fair share of child support and offering to take my daughter almost anytime she wants me to have her at my place, I'm doing all I can, right?
Why do I feel guilt? What about me? I'm feeling like a part-time Dad. I see her every Thursday and every other weekend, and I'm like a single guy (not in the dating aspect but just the lifestyle aspect) and then I have to jump back into being a parent and making sure I have plenty of food, the apt. is clean, her room is clean and the sheets are clean, and activities planned.
I totally love my daughter. I'd die for her in a heartbeat.
But I wish I could be her Dad every day (and I am in my heart) but the part-time stuff is a tough transition.
Cloud
Re:Guilt pkb1300: I'm just going to ask my question and you can say none of your business as an answer if you want. Why don't you go for the custody and let her be the visiting/part-time mom? You seem to love your daughter very much from what I've read. I know several men who are the custodial parent with the visitation/support coming from the mom. And there was nothing "wrong" or "bad" about the mom...it's just what the court decided. I wish you the best of luck no matter how it works out in the end.
PKB
Re:Guilt cloud: I'm not willing to do that.
I can only hope that if/when the divorce goes through that my relationship with my ex will be such that we can add some flexibility to the arrangement.
But me wanting primary custody would destroy whatever relationship my ex and I have and would, in her mind, seem to be an act of bitterness.
I do appreciate the advice.
