I can't shake this feeling :-( Crystal_Blue_024: I'm starting to get really down on myself... I've been in this slump for going on 2 weeks and I can't seem to pull myself out of it... I even had to go see my therapist 2 days in a row last week because I felt like I was losing it...
So that crap happened with Brian last Friday (him telling me he was going back to his baby's mom), I was crushed... But he was honest with me because he knows I don't wanna sleep with someone who's sleepnig with someone else...
I saw him on Saturday cause he was putting my iPod adapter in my car for me, he still kept callig me "mama" and told me I was looking "sexy as ever." He gave me a hug when I left, and that was it... I called his Saturday night drunk out of my mind (drunk dial) at 2:45am, he didn't answer, but I left him a message...
Sunday morning he called me and we talked on the phone for almost 3 hours... He made all these plans with me (movie night, getting his ears pierced, going to a Halloween party)... He texted me for like 2 hours on Sunday night too, telling me "You know I want you, no games, no jokes." And called me "Sweetie." I'm so naive that I ate it all up, and didn't give it a second thought...
Monday morning he continued to text me "Good morning sunshine," etc. He said he was going to come over and see me after work... He came over Monday night and was so sweet to me and blah blah blah, and I fk'd up and slept with him... So he left and said he'd call me tomorrow... Well to say the least, he hasn't called me...
I'm so mad at myself for sleeping with him, I think he was just working me with all his sweet bull $hit, so he could sleep with me one more time... I talked to his friend (Coop) yesterday (we're getting to be friends too) and he told me that he knows Brian will never leave his baby's mom, and that if Brian isn't giving me what I want, that I need to let him go... His own friend is telling me this... I'm so hurt!! :'(
Can Brian really not see what a great woman I am? Can he really not see what we could have together if he would just pull his head out of his ass.... Coop said him and Brian had "discussed things" and that Brian knows I'm a good woman, but if he knows that why is he so willing to just let me go? Is he really just going to let me walk away? Did he really just lie about all those things? And lie about all the things he wanted to do with me? Could he really do me that dirty?
I told myself to let it go, I know I need to just cut it off... But I want some god damn asnwers!!!! I texted him this morning and he's not answering me... I want to ask him what the hell is going on! I want to know if he was just using me for a quick booty call! I want to know how he feels about me!! I want answers!!! :'( :'( :( I can't believe I'm going through all this $hit again already...
Re: I can't shake this feeling :-( hr: Crystal you are a good person. I don't think he is using you for a booty call persay. If he went back to his babys mom he is talking to you when she is not sitting next to him. When she is there he is ignoring your texts and calls. He probaly means what he is saying to you, but he is playing two women and he don't deserve you. This is not a spot you deserve. Let him go before you hurt worse and start questioning yourself any more than you are now.
Re: I can't shake this feeling :-( drowned: ((HUGS))
I think he is really confused CB...but what sux is that you are on the other end of his manipulative ways to have his other cake. Geez..do what is best for the situation not necessarily what is best for your feelings. Makes sense?
You are strong CB...I have followed your story since day one, I am sure you got thicker skin now for this kind of BS....
Chin-up ;)
drowned
Re: I can't shake this feeling :-( AMG: I know it is horrible to face, but my ex pretty much did this to me for 4 years, except it was w/ other women. I am realizing now that when "something better came along he was gone." I wanted to be with him so bad, I blindly made excuses for him over and over. Dont let this happen to yourself!
I have been reading your posts and (I hope I am right), you really havent been together for all that long. If so, get out now before it gets worse. People like this are only in it for themselves.
He will not give you honest answers anyway. It is what it is, he is playing 2 women... that is all you need to know.
Re: I can't shake this feeling :-( Plucky: Crystal, Crystal, Crystal....how many times are you going to let this happen? It's gone beyond the point where it's 100% his fault. You have to know in your heart of hearts that this is going to be the norm with Brian.
He has a girlfriend who is the mother of his child. He has told you that he is working on things with her. Respect that and leave that relationship alone. If you were her, wouldn't you be livid?
I have more experience with this type of man that I care to admit to. In my opinion - and from that experience - I've come to the conclusion that men like Brian are cowards. He's giving you what you want when you push him becaues he's not man enough to directly hurt you. In other words, he can't handle being the bad guy and so he goes about it the chicken-shit way, by ignoring you. And in a few days, he'll probably get enough text messages to make him respond and it'll happen all over again. He is not worth it. In my book, there is absolutely nothing worse than a spineless man.
I skirted around the subject when you first started posting about Brian, but I'm just going to say it now. You slept with him too soon and made too much of the 'relationship' about sex. I'm going to take a stab in the dark here and guess that you get extra sexual in your communications to him when you get desperate to get his attention. And I'm guessing that he only responds at that point. This past weekend, he got you all warm and fuzzy and then he got laid because he knew he could. And then he kept on moving on. You've made yourself an easy mark.
You keep asking why he would want a good woman like you. Maybe the question should be why would YOU want a man that treats you that way? Do you really want to invest in someone that's going to treat you like a 2nd class person? Who's going to use you for sex and ignore you? Who's going to hurt you 5 days out of 7? Everyone deserves better than that and I have no doubt that you are a good person and deserve way better. You're just raw and trying to fill a void. You need to realize that. He's crap. Filler. Nothing.
I know this is a little harsh and we on the outside looking in don't see the situation as you do. I think you have a good heart - but it needs time to make itself whole again. I hope you're able to get past this guy. And I hope I haven't offended you in any way. I've been in your shoes and it digs at me to see it happening to someone else.
Luck.
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