Doesn't any one care Tessa: I just got a phone call from an old high school friend. She only called to get the dirt of my divorce. I wasn't going to tell her anything and I think she picked up on that. I was about to tell her that I didn't want to talk about it when she told me that an x friend of mine. (The one that just got married). Had told her that the reason that my x and I got divorced was because I accused him of cheating on me. What a bunch of bull!!!!! I haven't even talked to the woman since the divorce. She is getting that from my x who she doesn't even know very well. It is all lies. It makes me so mad. After my friend if I can even call her that (my x left me 5 months ago and she didn't even know until last weekend) anyway after I told her a few things that I shouldn't have -all true, she ended the conversation. I haven't talked to her in months. Didn't want to know if I was ok. Just wanted to know about the divorce.
Everyone just loves it that I am in pain. They love to see me down. I don't get it. I have no true friends. No one to stand by me and help me through this.
To make matters worst my gmom is up for a visit. I am not speaking to her because of her hurtful comment. My dad wants me to be nice to her. Why should I? She is the one that made the mean comment to me. She has done that my entire life. Why should I subject myself to that??
I want so badly to just go to sleep and never wake up. I want the pain to be over. :'(I feel like I committed a horrible crime and I didn't do anything except believe that my x loved me and try everything to keep my marriage together. He got to walk away so easily. It seems like everyone is on his side. He is the one that left me. With no explanation. Just packed up and walked away while I was at work.
How do you get through something this painful when no one wants to be supportive and loving?
Sorry, just needed to vent.
Re:Doesn't any one care fisherman: That's what everyone is here for :P
The collective strength of this board and those around you going through the same thing is enormous. Don't focus on the pain - it's a burn that will only get hotter with thought.
His pain will come - that's what bothered me the most. Knowing that my ex would suffer a similar pain when reality hit her. It did, she does, but life goes on and each day gets better until you finally click - and life seems good. That day comes...
Re:Doesn't any one care picadilly: *HUGz* Tessa
fisherman is right, we're here, we care. God, if there is anyone one that cares & understands, it's us.
I have only 1 mutual friend with my stbx. One time, early in my separation, he mentioned in passing that she took a trip to Vegas. It just tore me up, I told him not to tell me how "happy" she was & that I just didn't need to hear it. He apologized & said that he didn't think she was happy to be single again, just that she wanted to take a break & find herself again. I'm sorry, if you go to Vegas, what am I supposed to think? So basically I told him not to talk about her or tell me anything she does, ever again. & he hasn't, not till I ask him he says.
So I know how it can be, stories & words through other parties just get so mixed up & confused. Especially in your case where the Ex is the one telling the stories. He has no morals but you do. Stand your ground & hold your chin up, you did nothing wrong, people that tell gossip... they're just bitter people that have no life of their own.
& yes, it's a hard call with your gran. Her comment was rude & thoughtless. It could well be time to confront her with it. All this bad blood your building up isn't good for you. If she doesn't understand how her comments are cutting you, then how can she ever apologies? Maybe she does know your mad at her, but if she wishes to make amends, this is good. If she doesn't think she did anything wrong, then maybe it's time you told her how you feel.
Anyway, be well & stay strong. Time heals, I know.
Re:Doesn't any one care Tessa: Thanks Guys,
Your kind words are of great comfort. I am not so patiently waiting for the day that I will feel happy again. I used to be such a happy person until my x tore me apart little by little.
I have some good days and get to thinking that everything will be ok and then a bad day comes. It is just so frusterating. I want to be rid of all the hurt and anger and just be able to be happy and live my life the best way I can.
I am hoping that the support group will help with that.
As far as my gmom goes, I saw her today. I was nice to her. I have decided to be nice to her when I see her but I will not go out of my way to see her.
Thanks once again Pic for your kind words and wisdom. You are a real sweet heart. Don't ever change. :)
As always I wish us all better and brighter days.
Re:Doesn't any one care leem03: I'm glad your reply speaks a little more encouragement Tessa. I know how frustrating it is to think that no one cares. As everyone already said, we all here care. I often sit by myself crying at times wondering why the heck hasn't anyone called to check on me. Why haven't they called to ask me to get out & do something.......Truth is, I'm unreceptive to it. Most times, I wouldn't want to do anything, and sometimes if anyone did call I didn't want to talk about it. But I do know that when I think of my friends at times when they are going through rough spots, I often think about calling and then half the time decide not to. Only because I don't want to call them if they are having a good day. I don't want to call & bring them down in anyway. I would be there to talk if they call me, no questions asked, but calling them to bring up a painful situation isn't easy.
So just maybe that's where your family & friends are standing right now. They know you're hurt & hope that when you need them, you will actually seek them out for support. I doubt that they will turn their backs on you. It's hard to see people we love and care about hurt.
Good Luck to you and stay strong!
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