Re:Need Advice picadilly: *hugz* to you Sunny. It's been awhile & I'm sorry to see you here again.
I think Safety has it right, if he recently told his sister the way he feels, maybe he's up for trying again. If this is what you want, you'll always regret it if you don't try atleast one more time. If things go well, then great, it will never be the same as it was but it can be different then it was & the way it was obviously didn't work out anyway. You never want it to be the same, you want it to be better then it was.
You both have grown & I hope, learned, throughout this ordeal. I hope he can see over the bitterness, see the possibilities that await him if he but steps up the the plate & holds onto this flower. I know you have the potential to bloom & start anew, I hope he knows what he's letting go if he isn't willing.
Peace & love to you & yours, as always.
Re:Need Advice shannon: Sunny,
E is right in that my X and I are working on getting back together. It's going well and I think it will last. But we are both taking it very, very slowly. He moved back in the house but we are still working through all our issues before we make it 'offical' again.
I had really moved on (with HUGE regrets) when our divorce was final, but it was his choice and I felt I had to move on to stay sane. It took a series of phone calls with him honestly and without trying to make himself look better to make me think "What if?".
While I believe I would have been fine in the long run either way (I have learned that I am a strong girl who can make it as a single mom on her own) I am very, very glad to have my family back.
I wish you luck, and I think a heartfelt call or letter being totally honest might help bridge the communication.
:)Shannon
Re:Need Advice SunnyFlower: Now I remember why I came back to this place after such a long time away. The support and genuine care everyone has here touches my heart.
I think what you had said about using my sister in law as a go-between isn't an awful idea, leem, but I don't want her to feel used in the situation at all. I don't want her to ever think that I don't value *our* relationship and that I take advantage of her. She cares about both of us and I'd hate for her to feel backed up against a wall and have to choose sides.
Today, my emotions spilled over. Maybe it was the full moon? ??? He asked me to drive our son to his place today (it's his weekened with him) because he was leaving work early due to not feeling so well. He lives over an hour away and I have never been there before, but I agreed as a favor to him. I drove through pouring rain with a full bladder to get there. I asked him where I could use the bathroom and he pointed across the street to a coffee shop, takes our son from my arms, and walks away.
I think initially I was angry, but it soon turned to sadness. We had made plans to take our son to the beach or Sesame Place in a couple weeks. I sent him a text message saying that I'd rather not go if it would be an awkward day. I told him I didn't want our son to feel the tension between us. I said if he couldn't look me in the eyes when he talked to me and not have such a sarcastic tone in his voice with every comment I'd rather not go at all. Then I spilled it. I started saying I didn't care if he knew that I still loved him. That the pain I carry knowing I hurt him tears me apart and that I would do anything, give up everything to take it back. He then told me "enough" and "I don't have time for this" and that he "hated me". He also told me that I "didn't deserve love or anything else" from him. I know, not the best way to get into it through text messaging, but I just had to say it. At least he knows.
I don't know what else to do. I feel so lost and stuck. Somebody get me off this Godd@mn ride before I jump!
:'(
Re:Need Advice picadilly: hm... *HUGz* so sorry that he just won't put aside his pride for one minute. He may need some time to adjust to the way you feel. I hope thats it, then again, maybe what he told his sister was just what she wanted to hear.
I don't know, this is so out of my league or ability to help. I can only offer you the support & freindship I have always given you. I know someone here maybe able to help you... there is always someone here able to shed light on our problems, thats one of the best things about this site. So many different perspectives & views.
& Sunny, you are so much stronger then you give yourself credit for. You've made it this far. Don't jump now. Look both ways before crossing... heh, I sure hope he's looking both ways now too, before he loses his second chance.
Be strong, be well. I'm sending you my happy happy joy joy thoughts now. :)
