When will it end? SherylLynn: Why do I always let him get the best of me? Why do I fall back into the easy patterns of our life?
He comes to see our daughter and instead of taking her and doing something with her, he hangs around the house. I love seeing them together, so I don't say anything, but after a while, its like he never left.... we drink, we have dinner, she plays and performs for us and we are on the couch....touching hands, playing with my hair, a nibble here and a kiss there and bingo, back in the sack and then he leaves to go home to his girlfriend!
Its not like I don't know where is going to. Its not like I don't know we are getting divorced, its not like I don't get that its just comfortable sex, but when will i put a stop to it?
When will I stop wishing he would come home? I don't want him home most days, or so I tell myself.... I know he won't change... he cheated on me with 3 women and is now cheating on his last OW ith me! He says she doesn't trust him, well..... duh! Why should she? She knows he's a cheater, because she was the OW! Stupid B@#$%!
I say I don't want him back, but somedays... I would in a heartbeat, others days... never! I just wish the never days would be closer together because this back and forth stuff, kills me and its my own fault. I let it happen, but dammit, I can't get sex anywhere else, because in my heart, we are still married and that would be cheating and I know that is lame.
I am sitting here typing this and I know it is lame, i set myself up to feel this way, but when we are all together, the 3 of us, its like nothing ever happened.
Oh well, enough of that......thanks for listening!
Re:When will it end? picadilly: Comfort sex. Sometimes a good thing, sometimes a not so good thing. If he's still with the current OW & he's cheating on her with you... how many of his "other women" is he also sleeping with. You don't only open yourself up to more pain from this man but you also open yourself up to STD's.
I say unclean! *pointing in his general direction*
He may still technically be your husband but he gave up that right once he cheated on you. Does that make it any easier? hell no. But you don't want to open this Pandora's box of potential harm to yourself. Some STD's are treatable... herpes, warts, crabs... some are a bit more fatal... HIV. It's a terrible thing to think about & I don't want you to think I'm all doom & gloom but if he's got a habit of sleeping around, then there could be a reason for my thinking this way.
If he comes over to see his daughter, shoo them out of the house, as fast as you can. If they don't leave, then you know what your in for. basicly he maybe familar to you as your stbx husband but it's almost the same as picking up someone at the bar... you really have no idea where he was the night before. Hell, for all you know, 2 hours ago he was having sex with the OW.
Guard yourself against this user. & really, when the 3 of you are together, you don't want to show your daughter that you have hard feelings with her father but you don't want to be just a sex toy to him whenever he comes by.
Be strong, I have faith in you, that you will do the right thing.
Re:When will it end? SherylLynn: Picadilly,
I know how crazy this is. I know he is sleeping with OW, i know he goes home to her every night.... It just isn't fair. Just so you know, I, just last week went and got all that fun stuff checked... just to be sure. I havent' been with him since, but it is hard not to.
But you are right, it is just like picking someone at a bar... you never know. I just never thought I would say that about my husband. It sucks.
Some days are easier than others, but this site helps so much.
Thanks
Re:When will it end? picadilly: Ya, I know. The word husband/wife should mean so much more to both parties, unfortunely, life sometimes gets in the way.
Be well.
