STBX learned of GF and goes through roof...... Shorelinedad: OK, STBX has had boyfriend since the week we split up last fall, he has hung around my kids and was a friend of all of ours. Long story short. Now I've been separated since last september and just started dating this wonderful woman in early June. STBX lost RN job and took another one that is a weekend only position. We had an agreement set with a mediator that had visitation set at every other weekend. Now she wants to throw it out and told the kids without asking me that they would be with me EVERY weekend Friday THROUGH Monday AM. When I explained that I also work weekends (freelance 2nd job to supplement rent, support, and bills) she blew up! In front of the kids she threw the phone and screamed and told my oldest that I don't want them.
I have always been there for the kids. An active supportive dad who brought them to school, attends games, helps with homework, and did always take them when STBX worked. I contend she's being unreasonable and she's taking me to court. My oldest kid is upset and we're working through it, but she says to me why can't I put my personal life on hold until our 10 year old is out of high school? She thinks it's all about GF, but while a personal life is secondary, and persuing my freelance work is neccessary and primary.
I explained to her that I took the past 8 months to work on who I am, and set up a support system of friends and family that could help when I need help.....all she's done is date this guy since day 1 and now expects me to have no life. Work Mon-Fri and basically babysit EVERY friday-monday AM. Every other weekend is fair in my book and as it had been previously set 1-2 days during the week depending on whos weekend was coming up.
Am I wrong?
Re:STBX learned of GF and goes through roof...... SherylLynn: Shoreline,
My ex moved in with girl friend the day i filed for divorce. He comes over to pick up our daughter yesterday and there is a truck on the street in front of our house. He says "Who's at the house?" I say jokingly "My boyfriends" He screams at me "That is not even funny!" What the he!! He plays house with his girlfriend and her son every night, see's his daughter 10 hours a week and has the nerve to be mad that I might have a boyfriend? Give me a break!!!! How selfish can one person be? He doesn't want me unless its to cheat on his OW but god forbid someone else might want me.
What is he going to be like when I do have a boyfriend? I am pretty easy with the fact he lives with his OW. Our daughter doesn't go over there and the OW is never with him and her together, that was a condition of our separation, but why would he care if I have a boyfriend?
We can't win.
You are not wrong, every other weekend is fair. My stbx has only agreed to the 10 hours a week, so he gets to play and live and I get Sunday for 5 hours and Tuesday for 5 hours. Of course, he would take her more if I let him take her to his new house, but I don't and for now he agrees with me. I don't know how long that will last.
You are entitled to a life. You are entitled to start living again and to make a living and see your kids ....... she doesn't sound resonable. She wants you to be "stuck" for lack of a better word and you need to fight for what is fair.
Good luck!
Re:STBX learned of GF and goes through roof...... Shorelinedad: Thanks for the kind words. My new GF has that type of ex. 1 Year final and she's catching crap about life.
It's hard because tonights the first weekend I wouldn't take them when stbx had to work and my 16 yr old is pi$$ed at me. Saying it's my job to take care of them when mom works, and why don't you want us. She's been saying a lot of stuff to the kids and it's killing me. Thankfully we have a sit-down w/lawyers this week about this stuff.
