Re: What she let him do TeddyR: FB,I knew you had your problems with your ex,but never envisioned anything like this.A sad,sad testament of what one human is capable of.
You are truly an amazing Women,with limitless strength and courage to have endured such a horrific nightmare.I'm certain you still bare the scars from 11 years of that hell.By reading your posts,it's obvious you have a high degree of intelligence,a very caring heart towards all and a great comical personality.
You've beaten the odds to overcome such adversity.I am glad you are so far beyond those dark days now,with many opportunities awaiting you and many many happy years yet to embrace.
Re: What she let him do katelyn: Beaten the odds is an understatement.
When I feel ashamed of the past, I think about where I'd be without it. Ignorant, probably. Be proud of yourself for the strength you've gained and the past you conquered. Most people would be in a flippin' mental institution. And look at you! You're flourishing and fabulous. :)
Re: What she let him do tirisfal: Thank you guys so much for taking the time to read this and respond. Damn, it was not easy putting it all out there, even though I've discussed it with some before.
Your encouraging words mean so much to me. It's been a long road to get to where I am now. I know I have many miles left in front of me, but I'm finally starting to feel like I am ok. ;)
I do have family feel. They have been very supportive through my divorce, however they wanted no part of it during my marriage. They were quick to tell me after it ended how much of an asshole he is. :-[ I remember asking for a place to stay and being turned down time and again. Everytime I would get a job during my marriage and start to feel independent and like I could support myself, he would get scared and I'd be forced to quit.
It is so easy for me to look at abusive marriages/relationships and say, 'why doesn't she/he just leave?!' It just isn't that easy. The manipulation in mine was so intense, I stopped believing in myself as an individual human being. Essentially I had become him. After he left the last time and I filed for divorce, someone asked my what my favorite color was. I didn't know. It had been green for years. Because that was his favorite. He would use every word I said against me somehow. Everyone of my actions became a weapon. "Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right."
So much of it is comfort and fear. I lived in that pain for so long, it became a comfortable pain. I knew what to expect, what not to do, how to act. I was used to it. It was easier. It's a hard concept to grab I know. Leaving and being alone and on my own was not a comfortable pain. It was scarey. It was unknown. My therapist works with abused women and children. She said it's the same thing if you ever watch an abused child removed from the home. The majority of the time the children will cry for their parents, the abusers. Because it's what they know. They love them, they think it's normal. My life had become normal to me. My mom was abused by my dad as well, so it just seemed right.
Anyway I am rambling again, I still have a hard time taking compliments :P. With the help of so many of you and my support structure at home I have developed so many new tools to work with. I have a completely different view about everything. And I wouldn't change any of it. Because I wouldn't be who I am now without it.
You guys totally rock. Thanks for reading.
Re: What she let him do spooky: Shit. Not even sure what to say. That had to be difficult to put down and I admire you for it. You know where to find me if you think there's something I can do.
Re: What she let him do katelyn: I know what you mean it becomes normal. And normal becomes abnormal.
Take a compliment. You are truly a surviver and be proud of yourself. Download Beyonce's song and play it loud and know that is you she's talking about! Lol.... ;D
Click More for the next page.
