Unsent email from a weak, weak man. masterlow: Dear M,
Next week would have been our three year anniversary. It's been almost
three months since you left, and I have to say I still miss you like
it's day one.
The last three months have been a roller coaster. Some days I think I'm
doing fine, and other days I can hardly get out of bed. My life feels
empty without you. I've tried filling it with friends, work, sports,
drinking, drugs, and women. Anything that might fill the void. But it's
not working. Nothing fills me up like you do. Nothing and no-one
compares to you.
I know you say you aren't in love with me anymore, but I truly believe
there is still something special between us. Something worth fighting
for. We were great together, and I know you know that. Love is not so
much a feeling, as it is an action. If we work on loving each other, we
will feel that wonderfulness again. I promise.
If only I could remind you that together we make an amazing team. All
the laughter. All the feelings. All the fun. Can you really look back on
our time together and it wasn't incredible? I learned so much from you.
I want to keep learning from you. You truly brought out the best in me.
I'm so sorry that I took you for granted. I will never do that again. I
stopped trying, and for that I will never forgive myself.
So here I am, laying my it all on the line. I'm just not ready to give
up on you, M. I'm not ready to give up on us. You are the most
amazing woman I have ever known. You complete me M. I'm lost and
broken and empty without you.
I love you,
B
Re: Unsent email from a weak, weak man. jadedangel: [color=navy"> I do not see weakness ... I see honesty.
[quote author=masterlow link=topic=36046.msg383209#msg383209 date=1160750864">
I'm just not ready to give up on you, M. I'm not ready to give up on us.
[/quote">
[color=navy">
And you can't give up on anything .. until you are ready --- It doesn't matter what you fill your time .. your life ... or your heart with --- It's not going to go away just because you tell it to.
It breaks my heart to read this --- mostly because I relate to much of it. I'll never understand how people can give up so easily and leave you to fight so rampantly by yourself. When they said 'don't give up on me' ... How was it ok for them to give up on us? I'm not sure how they can forget all the good -- the incredible time ... or the amazing feeling of truly 'getting' someone.
Hang in there .... [/color">
Re: Unsent email from a weak, weak man. serenity1066: I so agree. It's hard to understand how easily someone can just away. It's great that you want to keep trying, but don't forget to live your life...who knows what happens. Sometimes they need that time and distance to figure out it's worth it, but sometimes it seems the good guys lose no matter what. Still, you can dust yourself off and get back into the game of life, even feeling as raw as I'm feeling right now.
Good Luck
Re: Unsent email from a weak, weak man. masterlow: I'm moving on, livingthe30s, I really am. My pace through this process has been pretty consistent with all of my other break-up experiences.
This is who I am. I fall hard, and it's always a long climb back up. I'm moving on though, I really am.
Deep down I know that I will never be with her again. But a part of my healing process has always involved wearing my heart on my sleeve. I'm not, and never have been, one of those A-typical males who bottles everything up for fear of exposing himself.
I realize the futility in sending this letter, especially if it were about getting her back. But it's not. It's about exposing myself...throwing my pride aside and letting my raw emotions out.
Thank goodness I have a place like OJAR to send this letter to. By sending it to OJAR instead of her, I can get invaluable feedback from caring individuals, as opposed to a selfish responce (or lack thereof) from my Ex.
