Why don't I ever learn??? blkarazu: So, tonight I met some friends out for our friend Amy's birthday. I didn't get there until 9 because I was working, and they had all started at 5. Suffice it to say that they were pretty wasted. I am exhausted and didn't plan on staying out that late. Amy is drunk and doesn't want to leave yet, and has no place to stay(she lives almost an hour from here, but all her friends live here). I would have no problem with her staying with me, except I have to leave really early in the morning for work and it would take me almost an extra hour to bring her back to her car in the wrong direction and then get to work. Plus I would have to stay up and take care of her. She is still at the bar now. I gave her my cell # and told her to call me if she doesn't figure anything out. Anyhow, on to the part where I never learn....
My thought process immediately jumps to the fact that my x that I am still in love with and somewhat involved with, lives exactly one block away from this bar. Maybe Amy and I can just go to his place and sleep there tonight and she can walk to her car in the morning. Easy solution. He is still at work so I send him a text message saying that I really need his help and can he please call me ASAP. Now, I've known him for almost a year now and probably asked for help maybe 3 or 4 times. He completely ignored my text. Why am I surprised? I don't know. He has never been there for me. If anyone else sent him that text he would run to the rescue. If he got that from any of his friends, it would take less than 10 seconds for him to call them and see what was going on. But not me. He doesn't want me to rely on him. Everytime we start to get close again, he reminds me that as much as I love him, and I really do, he was never good to me. He never hit me or abused me in any way, shape, or form. He has just never been there for me. It's not like I am a drama queen always asking for help. I can't remember the last time I ever asked him for help. Why can't he just respond and ask what's going on. If I ever do have a real emergency, I really hope I don't have to count on him to save me. Enough venting, I just had to get that out.
