Re: A (1st draft) letter to my ex-wife... grendalkhan: LAST PART - this needs some hammering ut, but if you've stuck through the end of this letter, plz tell me what I should do
"While I was willing to forgive you your misdeeds (and yes, I mean the stuff I discovered in your diary - the stuff about turning to him for comfort because you felt like you could talk to your own husband – I really was looking for Jess’s book, btw), you instead allowed yourself to turn away and ignore everything. You have ignored the “why” and moved on without facing it. The blow-up, the pain, the hurtful words were inevitable. I didn’t let you down. You let yourself down hoping for the perfect, never-a-problem relationship, and I hope you can see that. I know this might be a bitter pill to swallow. But honey, I love you, and what I am saying is true. I cannot guarantee that I can be your friend, Brett. I want a friend I can turn to, who can turn to me. That’s who my friends are to me. We support each other. You didn’t allow me to do that when we were together, how is a “friendship” going to change that? I can try my best to be your friend, Dorothy, but you need to understand what your actions in November and beyond did to me emotionally and psychologically. I feel like I can never trust anyone again, that I can never trust anyone to be there for me when I really need them to be. I don’t want to be a part of anyone’s fantasy; I want to be their reality.
Please keep this email and print it off. Whenever you’re feeling lonely, pull it out and read it again. I hope it puts the events of the last year into perspective for you. I hope you can turn back to it for understanding, for consolation, for betterment. It was therapeutic for me to spend the last seven hours writing this. I think this was the only way I could ever explain to you how I really feel, because I don’t think any of our talks could have reached this level. You will take from it what you will. But believe my words are honest and true. This is me, Dory, now that I’ve had time to get away and look from the outside in. This is everything I wished I could have shared with you over the last year.
Love,
Your husband
Tony
