What in the world do I do?? sadgirl77: I married my husband when I was 21. We have been married for almost 8 years and have a young son. He was my first real b/f. I had to deal with a psycho ex-girflfriend of his who was constantly stalking him and doing stupid things to break us up, even after we married. She even crashed our wedding in Mexico!! Anyways, we have always had issues. After 3 years of marriage, I was offered my dream job in another city, 5 hours away, 1 hour by flight. Due to the probs, I took it and flew down every other weekend. I was able to transfer after I became pregnant. Ever since we got married, I have had to deal with him having all these women friends calling him. Never actually saw him cheating, but women have called our home claiming to be his wife, had someone leave panties with a love note on the front door, and have had persons leave hotel receipts on my car windshield at my job. He of course, denies, denies, denies. Then he tells me that he no longer is in love with me. Gives me no reason no explanation. He talks to me like crap. The way he looks at me makes me feel like I did something wrong, like cheat or steal from him. Now he has bought properties in Baja, supposedly to fix them up and sell them. He never even told me about them. I found out because he left the real estate docs in one of his cars and I found them while snooping. He leaves on the weekends, turns off his cell phone and comes back a few days later. God forbid I call to ask him when he comes home. He claims he's just doing business. Now some chick is calling his Nextell everymorning at the same time. He claims she's a friend. He gets mad because I get mad that he leaves on the weekends. He has told me that he now realizes that the marriage is not what he wanted and that the only reason he still comes home is b/c of our son. He says that he loves me as the mother of his child? What the heck do I do with this? Do men really fall out of love. I know I screwed up too, in the sense that I was jealous and insecure, but in light of all the things that happened, what else was I supposed to think. He owns his own business, we live in a million $ home, and he knows that I would get half-he said in the past that he is better off economically if we stay together. I have a good job, but make nowhere enough to sustain a home, especially in Southern California. It seems as if he wants me to make the first move. He has offered to move out but only until we resolve the economic issues...he does not want to get lawyers involved...I wonder why???
It may sound crazy, but I truly love this man. Sometimes I wonder if I am too demanding. he is a hardworker, attrative, does not drink or smoke, no major vices. Any woman would want him....problem is... he doesn't want me.
how do I get him to love me again? IS there any hope for me or should I just let go.
Re: What in the world do I do?? Rain_Gray: It breaks my heart that this is happening to you, but with that said let me get down to the rough stuff...
Sweetheart, he's cheating on you. You'd have to be blind to ignore those huge flashing warning signs. It also sounds like he's been doing it for quite a while.
Let me stress something that I learned at a really young age. You do not love this man. You love the man he was pretending to be. I hope you understand what I mean by that. The man he is now is the man he has always been. If he doesn't love you its very unlikely that he will fall in love with you again. YOU DID NOT DO ANYTHING WRONG AT ALL!
Honestly I don't know what to tell you about your economical situation. You need to do what is best for you and your son. DO NOT give his situation any sympathy. If divorcing him and taking half of his assets is better for you than staying in the house he's paying for then do it. But if he is going to be living in that house, you need to get out now. He needs to be out of your life in order for you to heal and get over him. With your son in the picture that is going to be difficult, but that can be managed professionally. Good luck honey, I hope you get through this alright. If you ever need anyone to talk to you know where to find me.
Re: What in the world do I do?? baffled!: You have got to get this complete A$$HOLE out of your life.
Seriously... do it. Now.
Do not try and get him back. You're scared... and that's ok.
He's a hard worker, attractive, no smoking/drinking/vices - and sounds like a total pr!ck.
I don't need any help reading the scales on that one...
