Re: A letter came in the mail tripny2k6: Tell her that you arent really upset with her, but more with him b/c he still feels the need to comeover to your house to hook up with you and continue to break your heart!
Re: A letter came in the mail flyaway: thanks for the advice, big guy. :P I think I need to not stir THAT pot, though. ::)
breaking news: It now looks like I've been diagnosed with an ulcer. :-[
So, any ideas on how to not let stress ruin your health? ???
Re: A letter came in the mail jrios29: Bacardi 151 helps! ;D
Re: A letter came in the mail td7629: Wow Fly.. I can't even imagine how you must feel reading that letter.
IMO.. It sounds like the letter is more for her benefit than yours.. It sounds like her conscience is eating her alive.. which it should!
If I were to receive a letter like that from the OW I honestly do not know if or how I would respond. My first reaction would be to say something like.. "You have no idea the pain you have caused me and my children" but then again if you never forgive it will just eat you up inside.. Tough call..
Re: A letter came in the mail sheydp: Wow… sweetie… I am so sorry.
I know EXACTLY what you mean about all of it… as you know. Let me just tell you a few things, though. Your girls are NOT from a broken home. They have two homes – which is an increase, not a decrease. They have an extended family – with more adults to love them.
I know how you feel about that being a “little family” – it still gets to me sometimes, when MY girls are over “playing family” for my ex-best-friend… But realize something. As hard as it may seem to take them from HIM – it is as hard for them to leave YOU. The key is, you are BOTH necessary for your girls. He has created a loving home for them, and added someone to their lives that can love them… he gave them a gift. You already HAD and HAVE a loving and complete home WITH them – always have. That is an even BETTER gift. A large part of that gift is the unselfish love you hold for them that does see that it is good she is good to them, that they can feel loved and safe. You make them feel safe in your home/family by allowing them to love outside it as well as in it. Do you realize how precious that is? Even so many people HERE can’t get over their own pain to put the needs and safe feelings of their children first. They want to break up their exes from people who treat their kids well, or drive them away somehow, because of their own pain. You don’t want that. You are an amazing mother – and your girls DO realize that. You have even talked about how wonderful they are to you – responding to that love.
Look around ojar at the people who have uncaring exes who treat the kids badly – or who bring in nasty people to their lives. I know you know it – I know knowing doesn’t always help enough. Just remember, and be proud, that you are doing really well… Let go of the hurt and anger toward her – she started out wrong, it is true, but you could do so much worse for your girls. She wants to work with you, to stop hurting you, so let her. She is not evil, she just DID evil in the past (and haven’t we all?) She can’t threaten the bond you have with your girls, but she CAN strengthen it, if you work together.
I am so sorry for your pain… I wish I could ease it. I know how hard (and lets be honest – SCARY) it is to let go of our children even for the brief period we have to let them go to the ex and his household… I wish I could give you a hug.
Shey
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