Re: Help LSpr11: I can't imagine how that would be! I told my husband that I NEVER want his OW to be around my children. My 11 year old knows about her and is furious! She said that if the OW were to EVER come around them that she would take the 2 youngest and lock them in the bathroom until she left! I really believe she would do it too! I have a temporary restraining order against the OW right now that she is not to be around my children. It will only last until the divorce is final though. I can't control anything after that. I just know that he will then have to face the wrath of my oldest daughter!!!!!!!!
Re: Help Feel: [quote author=TLK link=topic=36520.msg388734#msg388734 date=1161583564">
I know my story was way too long...I will give the condensed version.
We separated two years ago November 5th, our divorce was final this summer. He left me for another woman and our friends stopped talking to me. I still cry everyday and wish it was different. I wish this was no longer on my heart...looking for advise.
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your friends stopped talking to you... wow, that hurts... I find it to be bullshit and from the sounds of it, probably made it look like it was yoru fault.
Take your time to get over it but don't let life pass you by... you dont always want to be sad... and the best revenge is him seeing tha you are happy....
Re: Help idocsteve: Have you considered dating? I mean, not necessarily to get serious, but if it happened, then ok...just to get out there, have a dinner with a nice guy, take your mind off of your daily tortured thoughts for a few hours; you might even enjoy yourself a bit? I know, it will take a change in your mindset, but you gotta change something, or nothing is going to change.
Re: Help flyaway: [quote author=TLK link=topic=36520.msg388807#msg388807 date=1161610317">
I want to show him how happy I am without him. Tired of being stressed, left behind, used, and thrown away.
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OK. deep breath. :-\ I think that we need to refocus on what we have control over. We don't have control over our former partner and their new interest. But.......you certainly do have control over you. How about forgetting showing him how happy you are, and just make up a "happy place wish list" for yourself? Maybe, instead of going home after dropping the kids off, you could go to a nice coffee shop, and read a magazine, and listen to music?
I would strongly caution against dating at this stage in your healing. I'm sorry, but I speak from personal experience that dating too soon can be a detriment to healing, not a catalyst. :-[
Using others to make you feel like you are attractive, and worthy of affection, and all that other good stuff is still just using someone. From what I know of you, TLK, I know that you're not that person. You expect better from yourself. Just don't expect perfection.
Hun, this IS a very tough, horribly painful time. And it's perfectly ok to not talk to the OW. I don't recall anything in the divorce rulebook that says we have to be friends with the people that contribute to the downfall of our marriages. >:( ;) ;D
Keep PMing me, whenever you need to. There's lots of us here that would be more than happy to help out in whatever way we can. :)
hugs,
Flyaway
Re: Help idocsteve: It's been 2 years. Get out there and have some fun. Fun does not mean committment. It just might be the boost you need.
I'm standing by my original suggestion. Hey, if it doesn't work for you, at least you may get a couple of free meals out of it.
