WASN'T SURE IF I SHOULD POST THIS.....SORRY IF IT'S TOO MUCH wtfjusthappenned: FUCKING SHIT, WHY IN THE FUCK DOES OUR LIFE(S) HAVE TO END?!!?!?!? WHY IN THE HELL CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT THIS SHIT UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE? AND NOW, EITHER YOU ARE PISSED OFF, OR I AM FUCKING READY TO JUST BLOW SOME SHIT UP IN THE BACKYARD????????!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!!!!!!!!!!!WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU TALK TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?! I HAVE TOLD YOU,HAVEN'T I , AND SHOWN YOU THROUGH-OUT 4-1/2 YEARS OF MARRAIGE, AND SOME PRETTY FUCKIN HARD TIMES, I AM WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE YOU HAPPY?!AND DO ANYTHING TO MAKE OUR LIVES BETTER?!?!?!? HAVE I NEVER BEEN RIGHT AT YOUR SIDE, WHETHER SHIT HAS HIT THE FAN, OR THINGS ARE BETTER THAN THEY HAVE BEEN IN YOUR LIFE????????? WHO IN THE HELL WAS IT THAT DROVE DOWN TO PORTLAND, AFTER YOU TOLD ME WE WERE DONE, AND BAILED YOUR ASS OUT OF THE E.R., AND THEN, LIKE A COMPLETE DUMBASS, AGREED TO LEAVE YOU ALONE AND GET THEIR OWN HOTEL ROOM? WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!
I THINK YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, WHICH MEANS I HAVE ONE OR TWO TOO. I CAN'T BELIEVE, NO FUCK THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE!!!!!!!!, THAT ONE OF US JUST GETS TO CALL IT DONE AFTER EVERYTHING WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE NO SAY OR OPINION IN THIS? AS YOU HAVE SAID AT LEAST THREE TIMES NOW...."NO, THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN SAY,DO, OR CHANGE, THAT WILL HELP US GET PAST THIS, WE ARE JUST FLAT-OUT DONE???????? FUCK YOU. THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY THIS IS DONE!!!!!! YEAH, I HAVE TAKEN STEPS TO PROTECT MYSELF, AND YEAH, YOU CHECKED OUT THE BEST THING YOU COULD DO ON YOUR OWN.........MAYBE I SAW THIS COMING, MAYBE YOU ARE RIGHT.......BUT JUST MAYBE, I AM WRONG, AND YOU DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD THINGS CAN BE, OR YOU REFUSE TO. AND YOU DON'T KNOW HOW FUCKED I AM WITHOUT EACH OTHER!! HOW CAN YOU ON YOUR OWN, WITHOUT ME EVEN KNOWING SOMETHING WAS SERIOUSLY WRONG, SAY WE ARE DONE, WITHOUT EVEN TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT? THERE IS NO WAY THIS CLOWN YOU HAVE BEEN TALKING TO FOR SO LONG CAN MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER THAN I CAN. THERE IS NO WAY ANYONE CAN MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON THAN YOU HAVE!!!! WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH SOME THINGS THAT NOONE CAN EVEN COMPREHEND, AND MAYBE WE DID NOT COME OUT 100%, BUT I ALWAYS HAVE FELT LIKE I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. I TRIED EVERY DAY WE WERE TOGETHER TO SHOW YOU HOW GOOD THINGS CAN BE, AND YOU PRETENDED TO BE THERE WITH ME. BUT AFTER ALL THE SHIT THAT'S HAPPENED IN THE LAST, WELL.....12 FUCKING DAYS?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU JUST SAY IT'S OVER WITHOUT TELLING ME WHAT HAPPENED? WHY WONT YOU ADMIT THAT "A" OR "J", OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS MOTHERFUCKERS NAME HAPPENS TO BE AT THE MOMENT.....IS THERE AND THAT YOU DID DO WHAT YOU HAVE DONE? DO YOU WANT TO SEE THIS PART OF ME? WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO MEET HIM? FUCK, I CAN'T WAIT!!! DO YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU HOW ANGRY I AM , OR TO SHOW YOU WHY I DON'T LET THIS PART OF ME OUT....EVER? GOD-DAMN....SORRY IF ANYONE READING THIS WAS OFFENDED, SORRY IF I BROKE ANY RULES HERE, OR AGREEMENTS ON SWEARING OR WHATEVER, BUT I RAN OUT OF SHIT TO BREAK OR BLOW-UP AROUND HERE, AND I DON'T THINK ANYONE CAN EVER EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THIS SHIT HAS GONE DOWN IN MY LIFE. I WAS HAPPILY MARRIED, MY WIFE WAS TOO UP UNTIL 3-4WEEKS AGO, AND THEN, SHE DECIDES TO GET "INVOLVED", AT THE LEAST EMOTIONALLY, (LORD, I USED TO BE A BELIEVER, HELP ME FROM DOING SOMETHING STUPID TO ONE OF YOUR....WELL, WHO CARES WHAT THE FUCK THIS MOTHER-FUCKER IS OR WAS?) WHO HAS THE BALLS, TO COME BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS WIFE? WHAT KIND OF PERSON DOES THIS? YEAH, OBVIOUSLY SHIT WASN'T ALL PERFECT AT THE HOMESTEAD, BUT TO THIS DAY, I DON'T SEE WHAT WE COULD NOT HAVE DEALT WITH, OR LIVED THROUGH, THAT WE HAVEN'T BEFORE. MAYBE I WAS TOO COMPLACENT, ALTHOUGH TO THIS DAY STILL, I FEEL THE SAME AS THE NIGHT I PROPOSED...."baby, i can't imagine living another day without you. you make me look forward to the end the day just to see you and be with you. i have never been as happy and complete as when i have been with you, will you spend the rest of your life with me?"..........OK, WELL AT LEAST SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR ONCE, AND HAVE THE DECENCY TO BE HONEST WITH ME AND YOURSELF.....FUCK, I THINK HONESTLY SHE HAS CONVINCED HERSELF IT'S TOO LATE, AND I AM TOO STUPID AND IN LOVE TO GIVE UP........calm the fuck down....i know i am a strong person, but i don't think i will come through this ok. i just don't know "wtfjusthappenned", and i don't think i want to know the truth right now.....this shit is just too fukt up, and just way too much ...
Re: WASN'T SURE IF I SHOULD POST THIS.....SORRY IF IT'S TOO MUCH freakshow: *HUGS*
I feel that too. OUCH! Hang in there with me!
Mean people suck!
Re: WASN'T SURE IF I SHOULD POST THIS.....SORRY IF IT'S TOO MUCH chum: as hard as it is right now...and as much as you want to be together, you will never totally understand why the ex does what they do and trying to only makes it harder to get through. I tried to figure out what happened with mine for a long time, and I didn't get very far until one day i realized I didn't do anything wrong. Try to find something else to focus on
I focused on my kids a 100% to get through the early stages
now i am able to focus on more everyday
Re: WASN'T SURE IF I SHOULD POST THIS.....SORRY IF IT'S TOO MUCH Trish: I like what Chum said.
By the way I like your screen name LOL.
I will never understand my Ex's decission. OH well, not my problem anymore. I don't even want to waste time trying to understand.
You can't make her happy. That is her job to make herself happy and you just go with what is already there "happy".
I think in my new life, I just don't have time to babysit imature people who want me to do all the work with their emotions and their feelings and blah blah blah. Next time around, I want somebody with a clue and some maturity in life to just FUCKING CHILL OUT. I want somebody to act their age, be a real and whole person, and leave their drama at the door. I'm so not into ridiculous over dramatic out of control people anymore.
I want a real man.
I don't know your situation but I do know you can't MAKE anybody happy or MAKE them do anything they don't want to do, feel or be.
Good luck and my heart goes out to you and your pain.
Re: WASN'T SURE IF I SHOULD POST THIS.....SORRY IF IT'S TOO MUCH wtfjusthappenned: thanks to all...and who edited my post? i modified some of the swear words, cuz i misspelled them!
actually, i think this vent area is great, especially when you can't show people or ****her****, aka "super lying bitch", how you really feel. i can't right now as i really need to remain calma nd controlled to keep my boss and employees from thinking i am going to flake out over this! also, she is still in agreement on this "amicable" approach to dividing and settling our life together. and i know there are no winners, i am not going to allow her to take anything else away from me. she already owns the important shit at the moment.....
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