Re: WASN'T SURE IF I SHOULD POST THIS.....SORRY IF IT'S TOO MUCH

Re: WASN'T SURE IF I SHOULD POST THIS.....SORRY IF IT'S TOO MUCH bethere: I say let it out! I can only imagine what kind of pain this must be on a person. Just hang in there.
[size=10pt"> [size=10pt"> Man relationships are complicated![/size"> [/size"> Are people so different from one another. How do you know how to pick a person who will stay loyal? How? I don't get it. People do it all the time. They are loyal and caring. I am loyal. I am so sorry this is happening to you.
Hang in there. I'll hang in there too. My guy didn't cheat and I wasn't married but I do feel your pain. Your post made me cry. I can only imagine. Just KNOW - not all women do this. Just know that.

Take care.

Re: WASN'T SURE IF I SHOULD POST THIS.....SORRY IF IT'S TOO MUCH wtfjusthappenned: THANKS, I GUESS. I THINK AFTER DEALING WITH MYSELF AND THOUGHTS AND ALL THIS STUPID SHIT YET ANOTHER DAY, I HAVE COME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I MEAN BY THE "SORRY IF ITS TOO MUCH" PART OF THE THREAD....I FELT THE NEED TO VENT ON THE PART OF ME THAT IS LIKE A CHILD, CONSTANTLY ASKING "HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN TO ME?"

BUT, I AM NORMALLY A COLD, PRACTICAL PERSON WHEN IT COMES TO MAKING DESCISIONS OR DEALING WITH PROBLEMS. AND THE BOTTOM LINE, I AM ANGRY WITH THE FACT THAT SOMEONE I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF AS A SERIOUSLY INTENSE AND STRONG WILLED PERSON, COULD JUST GIVE UP ON SOMETHING SO MEANINGFULL, SO EASILY, ( SO IT WOULD SEEM.) I AM ANGRY WITH THE FACT THAT I KNOW, IT TOOK TWO OF US TO GET WHERE WE ARE. NOW I KNOW ONE OF US IS CLEARLY MORE AT FAULT THAN THE OTHER, DOES THAT GIVE COMFORT....NONE.

DO I KNOW THAT, IN MY HEART, I KNOW I WILL BE A MUCH STRONGER PERSON THAN I WAS BEFORE? YES, I DO. I AT LEAST CAN SAY THAT I HAVE ZERO, ABSOLUTELY NO REGRETS ON MY ACTIONS OR THOUGHTS OVER THE LAST FIVE YEARS. I AM THE ONE WHO LEFT MY JOB 3 YEARS AGO BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING TOO MUCH STRESS ON THE PERSONAL LIFE. LEFT A JOB MAKING $20K A YEAR MORE THAN I DO TO THIS DAY! MONEY AND OBJECTS WERE NEVER MY HIGH PRIORITY AFTER OUR FIRST DATE MY DEAR. I THINK MY ONLY REGRETS ABOUT OUR MARRAIGE IN PARTICULAR, I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO ACCEPT, AND LET YOU KNOW HOW SORRY I AM! I WILL TELL ANYONE, I AM SORRY I LET YOU TAKE CONTROL OF SO MANY THINGS ABOUT OUR LIVES. I AM SORRY I DID NOT FORCE THE ISSUE WHEN I ASKED....ARE YOU OK? AND YOU SAID YOU WERE FINE. MAYBE IT'S TOO LATE, MAYBE THIS NEW GUY IS MORE THAN ME, BUT IF HE IS, CAN YOU TELL ME IHE IS MORE DEVOTED TO YOU THAN ME? I DON'T THINK YOU WILL EVER FULLY UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. I FEEL SORRY FOR WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO FACE IN LIFE. NOT TO SAY YOU CAN EVER COME BACK, THE DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN EVER TRUST YOU AGAIN. AND AGAIN, I AM SORRY FOR MY PART IN THIS, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I CAN'T CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEARS. ALL I KNOW NOW IS THAT, WHEN WE FOUND OUT YOUR DOG RAN OFF TONIGHT, WHO WAS THERE BEFORE YOU, LOOKING FOR THAT STUPID BASTARD, AND WHO DID NOT EVEN SHOW UP? WHO HELPED YOU LOAD SOME OF YOUR SHIT TODAY? AND WHO IS NOT EVEN MAN ENOUGH TO HELP YOU OUT AND AT LEAST GET YOU TO YOUR MOTEL ROOM FROM THE E.R.? I WAS OVER 170 MILES AWAY, AND I GOT THERE FIRST....THIS STUPID PRICK DROVE YOU THER AND LEFT!!!!! I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, AND I WILL NOT FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF, ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF YOU. YOU GAVE UP YOUR RIGHT TO SEE ME CRY. I AM STILL SORRY FOR MY INACTIONS, BUT I HAVE ALWAYS DONE WHAT I FEEL IS RIGHT... HAVE YOU?

GOOD LUCK, GET LOST, AND COME BACK TO SEE ME WHEN YOU FALL. AT LEAST LET ME KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS. MAYBE YOU WILL COME CLOSE.....PROBABLY NOT.

UMM...MAYBE CALL THIS AN UPDATED VENT? WTF?.....STUPID FEELINGS....

Re: WASN'T SURE IF I SHOULD POST THIS.....SORRY IF IT'S TOO MUCH (GLC): Oh God!!! In some way I actually envy you! You are purging this horrible, noxious, painful anger while I still sit here frozen and unable to experience anything close to an emotion.

Will the refusal to vent anger or shed tears eventually kill you?

Re: WASN'T SURE IF I SHOULD POST THIS.....SORRY IF IT'S TOO MUCH lonewolf: [quote author=(GLC) link=topic=36521.msg390211#msg390211 date=1161732267">
Oh God!!! In some way I actually envy you! You are purging this horrible, noxious, painful anger while I still sit here frozen and unable to experience anything close to an emotion.

Will the refusal to vent anger or shed tears eventually kill you?

[/quote">

No it won't, but it will eat you up inside.

There are other avenues, such as the road i've been taking: accept it. You don't have to neccesarily move on, but don't dwell. Accept that its over and go from there.

Re: WASN'T SURE IF I SHOULD POST THIS.....SORRY IF IT'S TOO MUCH wtfjusthappenned: i agree with lonewolf big time. every moment of the day, and a hell of a lot of them at night, i keep trying to keep in mind that i have to put one foot in front of the other. i think night is the hardest for me as far as the venting thing. all day i have to keep it controlled and inside. i don't think venting and letting it out is the answer, it helps, i also agree with lw that keeping it inside, especially to the point where you have.....everyone deals with grief differently. me? i get the added satisfaction everyday of finding out more shit i had no idea my loving wife was doing behind my back. i wish i could say it is only about the other guy too. tonight i just feel saddened for her, and drained from keeping my pain and anger from everyone today. i honestly don't think i have much of the grief thing left. last two days have been some acceptance, a lot of anger, and a good dose of dissapointment in her.