What do I do???? LSpr11: Ok, my story in a short version. I have been married for 7 years and have 3 wonderful children with my husband. He out of the blue in June told me he wasn't happy and wanted to leave. He left on Aug 8th. I found out in September that he had been seeing someone else and had slept with her. He told me he wanted a divorce. He told me and told me he wanted a divorce. I cried, begged, gave him space, everything I thought he needed to come back.
When he told me he is still with the girl I filed for divorce (because that is what he wanted). Since then we have went through a temporary hearing and I have begged him to stop it. He says no. this is what he wants. Then yesterday he comes to get my kids. He said look, I never wanted this divorce, I was only thinking about it and then I was served with papers. I told him I would stop the divorce and he said no, this is what we need to do now. I don't know what to do! I love this man with all my life and don't want a divorce!!!! But, I know he is still with her! Should I try and stop the divorce and make him refile it?????
Re: What do I do???? pluscachange: Sounds like he's simply exercising control in a not so subtle way. Seeing if you'll jump through hoops at his command. If it's exactly as you've described, I can come to no other conclusion.
Re: What do I do???? Feel: of course put the guilt trip on you... while he is enjoying his life and you are hurting and doing what you thought was right as much as he forced you into doing it... and yet forgetting that he was the one who cheated.
I know how you feel my ex forced me into getting a lawyer too, and it ended up being the best thing...
PM me if you like, read up onmy story, it sounds somewhat the same in the manipulation part of it... I just want to say this, make sure your children are safe, make sure your lawyer will do what you need, don't fall into any of his traps adout settling, you don't want to be left with nothing and take notes about everything...
His family and yours what do they say?
Re: What do I do???? LSpr11: My family is just in shock. They can't believe he is doing this! He was once a really good man! Then he met her and has completely changed! His family doesn't know what to think. He tells them exactly what he wants them to hear and then they call me for the truth. They are totally upset with him but I know when it comes down to it.....blood is thicker than water! I just don't want to lose the man that I love more than life! I am just now at the point of thinking I made the wrong decision to file!
Re: What do I do???? Feel: [quote author=LSpr11 link=topic=36529.msg388846#msg388846 date=1161614051">
My family is just in shock. They can't believe he is doing this! He was once a really good man! Then he met her and has completely changed! His family doesn't know what to think. He tells them exactly what he wants them to hear and then they call me for the truth. They are totally upset with him but I know when it comes down to it.....blood is thicker than water! I just don't want to lose the man that I love more than life! I am just now at the point of thinking I made the wrong decision to file!
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you are right he tells them what he wants them to know, not the truth, at least you got them calling you so you can tell them your side... I had nothing, not even a hello, or how is our grandson doing, nephew doing... nothing....
You have to stay strong, don't give in, read up on me you will see....
If you read up on me, you will see for yourself what happens if you put your guard down. I lost my house a place where my son was happy and comfortable, all my rights, because I let him come back home after a year of him playing games with me.... I am now fighting for sole custody and he wants joint... for waht when he wasn't around... Now he pretends to be father of the year when he has yet to be alone with my son...
And I do have a court order that she(OW) isn't to be around my son!
Until all maters are dealt with and he can prove he is stable!
I am only telling you this because I know what I wne thru and by the sounds of it your children are young as well as you...
It is crazy hard, and hurt to teh point of no return... But I will say that it does get easier... doesn't go away but we learn to deal with it in our own ways... look to your familya dn friends for support and read up on some stories here...
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