Re: What do I do???? Kitty: He is the cause of all of this. HE chose to cheat... he chose to want a divorce.. like some men he can't or wouldn't handle "doing" the actually deed itself. You know why? Some are cheap, lazy, and self-absorbed.
Sorry if I sound bitter but that's how my ex is.
There is no way I would advise you to stop the divorce and make him file because you can't make him do anything. Unless you want to be indefinitely married to a man that has chosen to be with another woman I would suggest to stay your course and end the marriage on your terms.
The only way I would advise you to stop the divorce is if your ex was on his hands and knees groveling, begging everyday, saying how stupid he was, and declaring his undying love for you..... AND going to marriage counseling.
**my 2 cents**
..... don't fall into his mind games... the feelings he wants you to feel.. he wants you to take all the blame..... just don't let him effect you that way.
The one thing you can control is how you react to him and the situation you are in. Don't let him get to you and if he does, don't let him know it.
Be strong, discover you, you deserve to be treated better than this and you know it......
Re: What do I do???? LSpr11: I have begged and begged for him to go with me to marriage counseling and he says he won't. He says we have come to far and there has been too much hurt to go back now! He tries calling the kids every day to talk to them and find out what is going on in their lives. I told him the other day that he had a choice to make. It would be the OW or a relationship with me and we can discuss what it going on with the children. But, until he got rid of her not to call my house anymore. I told him that the kids would call him if they ever wanted to. Guess what! He chose her!!!! That hurts in all ways possible! Although he still calls everyday and leaves me a vm on my cell that says he wants to talk to the kids. They don't call him back until they ask to talk to their daddy. Am I wrong for being this way? I don't want to hurt my kids at all!
Re: What do I do???? Feel: YOU SHOULD ALLOW MAYBE ONE PHONE CALL AT LEAST TO SAY GOODNIGHT... HE IS SHOPWING THAT HE WANTS TO BE A PARTICIPANT IN THEIR LIFE...
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HOUSE, YOUR COSTS... DOES HE GIVE YOU ANYTHING?
BTW, YOU ARE GREAT FOR DOING ALL THIS... I BROKE SO MANY TIMES... I ALLOWED SO MUCH... BIG MISTAKE!
Re: What do I do???? chaotic: Dont stop the divorce. Plus is right, he is trying to exercize control over you. He may not realize he is doing it, but it will continue to hurt you over and over.
He is still with the OW. He is lying to his own family. He is lying to you. These are clear signs of a guilty mind. Dont let him control you or your actions.
Re: What do I do???? faraday: I never thought my husband would cheat either- I would have bet my life on it- but he did- and what I have gone through with him the past two months is unreal- I admire your strength- don't let him manipulate you- if you need to talk, PM me- I understand what you are going through
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