What to do? Mo: I'll be married 4 years next month. My oldest child will be 4 in January. Since I didn't have health insurance through my temp job (after moving out of state with him)and I was pregnant, he emailed me that we would have to get married for me to be covered on his insurance. Quicky in Tahoe at 6.5 months pregnant. Things were okay until I was 3 months prego. He got mad at me and stopped talking to me for about 2 months. I cried alot while pregnant. We moved 2 weeks after our daughter was born into a house with a yard and all the fixin's. We have two kids now. For the past, almost year, we have been supposedly working hard on our marriage, even though he refuses therepy. My issues, I am a single my who happens to be married. He barely gives the kids the attention they need. He takes no responsiblity, baths, sleep, food, etc. He complains about meals, sex, kids bedtimes, etc, I feel I can't please him. When I sign up for events or go anywhere, it is me and the kids. Family vacations for the most part and again, me and the kids. When my dad was here, he was rude and disrespectful and he always is. It is imbarrassing to me to have to do things as a single person, but, I am quite use to it. It is imbarrassing to me the way he treats people and acts. I find myself making excuses for him because of that. He does drink every day of the year, sick or not. He won't stop. We both smoke a little so I can't really complain about that. Everyone needs a little recreation sometimes. For about 6 months now, he tells me that I sleep walk and talk telling him he should be happy with whatever I give him and big lies, things I would never say in my waking state cause most aren't true. Still won't go to counceling. He thinks I'm aware of what I'm doing and need the councel. His first wife had to leave him while he was away on a trip cause he just doesn't give up. But, he refuses to talk about anything, just wants it his way. What do I do? I can't keep the children in this, can I?
Re: What to do? Mo: Doesn't anyone know what to say?
Re: What to do? idocsteve: File for divorce and get child and spousal support. You will all be much happier.
Re: What to do? Lumpy: I hate to say it but I kinda agree with Idoc. If he's not willing to try at all then there's no fixing it. Your relationship sounds very one-sided.
Re: What to do? Mo: Thanks to both you guys for replying to me. It is hard to find an outside oppinion that is willing to actually say these things to you, unless your strangers. Sounds easy. Guess I just do it. I am a stay at home mom. No money of my own. I think one of the reasons I'm stumped what to do is that I have no funds of my own to begin the process so I'm unsure. Also, he is going to freak so I should leave but, I moved to CA from MA a few years ago with him, before the kids and I really have no where to go if I wanted to just leave. I figure I can't go too far anyway, certainly not back to MA. Am I right? I feel like such a big baby, not knowing what to do or having the resources to do it. I use to be so independent in every way. Talking to him is hard cause I don't want to do it in front of the kids but, if I wait until too late, he is buzzed. I'll quite whinning as soon as I know the clear steps I'm going to take to resolve this situation.
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