Re: What to do? Mo: I only have a few minutes and I have to go. He was married before. Married a women with a young boy. He really had a harder time with letting go of the kid, not the wife. She had to leave him while he was away on business. I'm afraid of having to do the same thing but, being an at home mom with no money, plus my family is on the other side of the country. I just don't see him leaving without a fight. I hope I'm wrong. I have been trying to put together some thoughts on paper. I really don't see anything changing if we try again and again. I think I should just tell him a few different options and see how he reacts. I guess legal council is probably in order first?
Re: What to do? snkpack: Well its obvious he is in denial that there's a problem. So he's certainly not going to try and fix it. He also sounds like a very self-involved person. These type of people won't generally admit that they are wrong either. So you're facing an uphill battle the entire way.
I don't think its necessarily bad of you to want to talk to him, but all your previous attempts have obviously been unsuccessful.
My advice to you is to contact your local Women's Resource Center. They will be able to listen to your situation and give you contact information for various people who can assist you. Oftentimes, they will be able to provide you with the names of attorneys who will be willing to represent or advise you at no cost. They will also be able to advise you of assistance programs that can ease the financial burden of any route you should choose to take. And regardless of whether you intend to stay or go at this point, it certainly NEVER hurts to be aware of your rights, options, and possible consequences.
Re: What to do? Mo: Thanks for the advise. Gotta run. I'll check back later.
Re: What to do? Bluewolf030: [quote author=Mo link=topic=36546.msg389549#msg389549 date=1161700584">
I tried to talk to him last night. It didn't seem to be a good time even though he was sitting there watching tv and I was playing with block with my littlest one. He said "now?", like we were in the middle of ...Something, I don't know what. He doesn't want to talk to me so I figure the best thing might be to put my thoughts and plans on paper, get it organized and then let him read it. I suppose after a nice read like that, he might want to talk...or yell at me. Whatever. Is that a lame way to go about it. See...I say "can we talk" or "let's talk" and he either completely ignors me, tells me it isn't a good time or yells.
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Sometimes putting it right there on the table is what you need to do to make someone else listen.
It sounds like he dosent think there is a problem, and until you make him see that there is a problem, it will never change.
No matter whether you stay or go... you should get it all out and give him a chance to respond. Maybe he will change his mind about counselling if he sees that you ARE leaving.
Re: What to do? darkrose: It sounds like he's miserable with you. My stbxw sounds a lot like your husband..miserable people unfortunately cannot be fixed.
Maybe a separation will be in order, because this might have nothing to do with you.. it may have to do with his job or something..and it may push him into counseling if he really wants to fix the marriage.
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