Serious Girl Troubles l0progression: I don't get it. People these days seem to have a gross inability to be honest with themselves and others regarding relationships, sexual or emotional. Maybe I'm one of them, and I'm overlooking something obvious. Maybe its the girls, and I am just being messed around with.
Consider this scenerio:
Wifey walks out, although crushed and broken I decide that a life of celibacy is not a life for me. But neither are relationships. [color=black"> [/color">
I hook up with Girl A. Girl A later gets a boyfriend and hookups cease. I hook up with Girl B for one night. Girl A finds out about Girl B and is happy about it, for whatever reason. I don't know why. Girl B, I have no intentions of engaging in any sort of relationship with. Girl A, at this point is taken, though it would have been something I would have considered had she been single again and had I not just gotten out of a marriage.
I hook up with Girl C. All is well. Its unlikely that I would consider any sort of relationship, yet I was receiving mixed messages from her. Midweek I hang out with Girl A who is now single again. I admitted that I had feelings for her. She claimed to have feelings for me. In a seperate conversation I expressed that I was not interested in a relationship with anyone at this point. She wasn't either. I'd like to emphasise that there is a difference between wanting a relationship and having feelings for someone. The former is purely a rational decision, the second purely emotional.
At a bar, I meet a friend of Girl C who is totally hot, though a little bit of a flake. Through my own stupidity I had a hard time focusing on Girl C when friend of Girl C was around. Later, I made things right and all was well again. Girl C was not upset at all. All of a sudden on Friday Girl C decides that I am acting too close to her, despite barely talking to her and being on ly mildly flirty when I did speak to her. This was the opposite from messages I was getting from her before. Girl A finds out about Girl C and seems a little upset. I go home with friend of Girl C, though nothing sexual happened, she just spent the night with me. All is well, the next day she chills at my place. Not sure where things were in the 'feelings' department, but there was obviously chemestry.
Here I make a fatal mistake: Friend of girl C hangs around till night when Girl A and a bunch of other people come over for a party. I am now forced to deal with Girl A and friend of Girl C, who I find out know each other and don't really get along.
Anyway, Girl A expresses a little dissatisfaction with Friend of Girl C's presence, and even more dissatisfaction with my encounter with Girl C the prior weekend (a few days prior to me expressing my feelings to Girl A). I got the, "If you have feelings for me why would you go out and sleep with someone else?" line. She is now a little upset.
Girl A and I pass out in bed. Unlike the prior night, Friend of Girl C is now alone on couch. When I wake up she was gone. Last I heard of her. I bet she's pissed at me.
I now have plans to get together with Girl B. Girl A will be incredibly upset with this at this point. Girl C has attempted to contact me via MSN a couple times. I wasn't home either time and I have not bothered calling her/texting her. BTW, Girl A plans to move in as a roommate at some point. I have two other roommates as well. I agreed to this long ago, right around the time the soon to be ex wife left and I realized I needed 3 roommates.
...Continued in next post....
Re: Serious Girl Troubles l0progression: ... continued from last post...
What gets me is that Girl A has at least one other guy she hangs out with and has feelings for. He, like myself, is not interested only in her. I don't know if there is anything sexual or not between them. Girl A also said only last week that she didn't want any relationship right now.
I am not in a relationship with her at this point and should not be expected to cut myself off from other girls. Am I justified? Because 'feelings' are involved, is it disrespectful to continue to be with other girls until a relationship is initiated at some point? Or am I getting played by her?
Should I hook up with Girl B again and risk completely messing things up with Girl A, who I like?
As for Girl C, any idea what could have happened there? Why the sudden change of heart?
As for friend of Girl C, is there any way to make things right with her? I understand she is probably pissed for being essentially left alone for the night when things were going so well earlier in the day.
My position is that I don't want to enter a monogamous relationship at this time. However, I still have feelings for Girl A and would consider a relationship only if we grew a little closer over time. Basically, I want to take things slow relationship-wise. Girl B & C I don't really have feelings for, though I do find Girl C to be a cool person, worthy of friendship. Friend of Girl C is a little flaky so I'm not too sure what to do in that situation. I don't really have feelings for her though.
Anyway, I don't want people upset with me, and I'm not sure what I did to upset them and if I am justified in my position.
Any help would be appreciated. Thanks!
Re: Serious Girl Troubles BobFromAcctg: I'm sorry but my emmediate response is :
"WHAT ARE YOU SOME KIND OF DAMN DOG??? HUMPING ANYTHING THAT COMES INTO RANGE???".
Geez...sorry about that but come on.. Have some kind of honor and treat the physical with some kind of respect.
These woman are not just "life support systems for s e x"... They have feelings and of course they are getting torqued at you...
No real helpful response I guess..
Re: Serious Girl Troubles big_daddy: IMO...
If you play with fire you're going to get burned.
You can't expect to just hop from ass to ass to ass to ass and have them be happy about it.
Sure you don't want a relationship, maybe they don't either. But maybe the idea of being intimate with someone who sees them as nothing more than a glorified version of their own hand...isn't terribly appealing to them.
Not wanting a relationship, and not having respect...are two totally different things.
Re: Serious Girl Troubles alonewith2: I agree with Bob, but I'll do my best to sum it all up for you. :P
Girl A - wants you to pine away for her. She likes the attention from you, but only wants you to be giving it to her, not everyone else. She may or may not like you more than just a f-buddy, but she's the jealous type that wants you to only like her even if she's doing the same with others.
Girl B - You have no intentions of having any relationship with, so why care?
Girl C - Is pissed because you blew her off for her friend. You can't have both. They're friends. Pick one and then only give that one your attention. DUH!!
Friend of Girl C - You have a lot of explaining to do on why you ditched her for girl A who showed up to a party at your place. Girls don't like being ditched for another girl IN THEIR PRESENCE!!! DUH, again!
You can't have your cake and eat it, too. If you want to date around, then be up front and honest with EACH of them. Tell them you are dating others and leave it at that. If you aren't interested in anything more than sex, then let them know that, too. THEN under no circumstances should you have more than one girl in your presence at anyone time. Unless you want your own private girl-on-girl wrestling match. ;)
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