Re: Serious Girl Troubles clambakesX: [quote author=Clarice link=topic=36556.msg389238#msg389238 date=1161644361">
Ive given this post more thought...............why do you need all of these women's attention is what I feel the real issue is.
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Salve for pain. Valid, I guess, as long as he's honest with all the women.
Re: Serious Girl Troubles DarrenB: [quote author=snkpack link=topic=36556.msg389215#msg389215 date=1161642070">
You got greedy. You tried for four and it blew up in your face.
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LMAO!! The guy even tried to get away with the oft talked about but never successfully executed friend/roomate switch.
Har, har! Come on mere mortal. You gotta know better than to try that one. It never works man! It's a legend and it's a myth. Even Superman would have a hard time pulling that one off.
Re: Serious Girl Troubles TarheelMike: Too. Much. Drama.
Re: Serious Girl Troubles l0progression: Hehe.. Seems as though my style of dating life is not exactly welcomed with open arms! I'll put it this way, if you think three or four is bad, try my STBX wife who is now on #9 since our split. I pale in comparison to her. Obviously, this is no competition, my life is mine, her life is hers, just thought I'd throw that out that there are worse.
I'm having trouble doing quotes in this post, so bear with me.
BobFromAcctg, I do have honor and I do have respect for the women I am with. If I didn't respect them I wouldn't care about making things right, or sorting this issue out in regards to the emotions.
Yes they do have feelings, what kind of feelings is what I am trying to understand.
BigDaddy, "Sure you don't want a relationship, maybe they don't either. But maybe the idea of being intimate with someone who sees them as nothing more than a glorified version of their own hand...isn't terribly appealing to them."
Here is the thing, I am completely open and up front with them straight away. They ALL know I just got seperated. They all know that I am not ready to enter another relationship. They all know that I am interested in a physical relationship and maybe friendship. I don't lie, beat around the bush, or any of that. In addition, I am 100% safe with what I engage in. I understand that western culture (though not so secretly shoving it in our faces in the media) gets their back up when they hear of people "slutting around". Its a position engrained into our existance, though not easily justified if all parties are open, honest, and consenting.
Anyway, if being intimate is not appealing to them, it is their own fault if they go for it. They knew what they were getting themselves into, went for it, and got what was expected. I don't want to start a flame war over this statement. But if someone does something knowing exactly what will happen, how can they complain when it happens exactly as it should have?
alonewith2 (SNB), I agree with what you said about Girl A. That makes sense because she seems to want the monagamy without the relationship. It doesn't work that way though, and perhaps I will have to talk to her and express that unless we are in a relationship, I cannot agree to being monogamous to someone I am not really dating. I like her though, almost enough to date her exclusively but I just exited a 3 year relationship, got brutally cheated on and left in the dust. I know for a fact that I cannot dish out the trust needed to keep a relationship alive. I really enjoy her company and don't want to lose her as a friend either.
Girl B: Your exactly right! Other than being a potential destroyer of Girl A's friendship with me, she doesn't really play a big part in this.
Girl C: I understand. I was an idiot, but I thought I fixed things. Maybe I didn't. However, it would have been nice to hear the truth as to why she was upset. Claiming I was getting too close to her is almost the opposite of the real reason for being upset, that I wasn't paying enough attention to her. Why lie like that?
Friend of Girl C: I know. That was an error on my part, I suppose I should have not let her hang out at my house all day until the party. I didn't really want to kick her out, and didn't. I probably should have in the nicestr way possible to avoid any complications.
As for the last part of your post, I am honest. I am subtle about it, of course, but completely honest. I don't want to hurt people, I've been hurt and I know exactly how it feels. Maybe I'm just not getting the message out clear enough. Though I'm not sure how I could be any more clear.
snkpack & big_daddy, lol, I used letters because I think using names (even fake ones) wouldn't make much of a difference. :)
sheeps, I'm sorry to make you embarrassed for males. We're not all players, we're not all monogamous husbands, we're not all celibate, etc. If what we do, and how we conduct ourselves is done openly, honestly, and consentually I don't see what is morally wrong with it.
Maybe I should throw that question out there: What is morally wrong with dating around with the purpose of sex and friendship only, as opposed to finding a relationship? This is assuming that everyone is open and honest with each other.
Thanks for all the replies so far! :)
Re: Serious Girl Troubles sheeps: [quote author=l0progression link=topic=36556.msg389252#msg389252 date=1161647022">
sheeps, I'm sorry to make you embarrassed for males. We're not all players, we're not all monogamous husbands, we're not all celibate, etc. If what we do, and how we conduct ourselves is done openly, honestly, and consentually I don't see what is morally wrong with it.
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Do girl A, B, C, and C's friend realize you refer to them so coldly, as objects? Do you really think they "consented" to the manner in which you have chosen to act? I think not. You're being selfish and disrespectful. I have little doubt you see nothing morally wrong with it. I wonder just what you would find morally offensive...
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