Re: Now I know its over kN3eLb4Z0d: I agree with the guilt angle. Misery loves company, and she just had to bring you down to her level. My XW did this to me for several years, especially after she got remarried. She'd call me and say things like "OMG I can't believe how good life is," or, "I never thought it could be this way."
She'll never have it as good as she did. Never.
Re: Now I know its over galil: I would just ask her what the letter was about.
Trying to get in her head will drive you mad, I tried to get in my exs head a number fo times and it only made me more agrivated.
I think some people even though they leave they want to have control over you frm moving on or someone like my ex, she feels empowered by being cold and hurting people.
You can't fix these type of people, you can only fix yourself ad try to move on and make a new life without her. I am pretty sure these type of people don't want the reconciliation, I think as I said earlier, they need that drama or that "power" over you.
No contact in your situation may not be the best thing considering the children. It may be best to just keep things nice and down to the busniness at hand. Take the emotion out of the equation.
I have to take my emotions out of my situation, as it does not help anything. I don't have to invit emy ex over for xmass and other holidays, but I don't have to be mean to her as well. The only thing left for her and I , as far as contact with each other for the rest of our lives, would be our son. Her and her daughter are not my responsibilty. She can do what she wants I dont have to act out as it is pointless.
Just my 02. cents man :-\ Good luck
Re: Now I know its over..or is it? Hopeless: Can someone please help me out with this one.
So my XW just stopped by to pick up the kids (she had to work late) and was in tears. We put the kids in the car and she asked to talk. I said ok, then she broke down big time (not near the kids) told me she feels bad for hurting me, for doing all this too the family and that she is miserable.
This is one day after she told me to stay out of her life. I was very calm and collected and we chatted for a few while she was crying and she asked me for a hug. And she grabbed on tight, not one of those buddy hugs, by held on like she was about to fall off a cliff.
I dont think she wants to come back, but i think she is so lost right now and I feel so bad for her. My life aint exactly perfect right now, but I am making a pretty good go of it on my own.
So what do you guys think of this?
Re: Now I know its over worchid76: :o wow I do think she might want to ask you to get back together but she does not know how. Could be!!
Did you guys try to go to counceling before the split? Why don't you try it now? At least it would help you figure out if you are better apart or together.
Re: Now I know its over yella: It sounds to me like she's trying to forgive herself for what she's done, and looking for closure on her own by seeking forgiveness from you.
Only you can decide if you want to give it.
I also think that she feels tremendous guilt for hurting you, and knows that she can't give you what you need, so she's not going to try to get back together with you. It's not like she's hurting you then trying to get back with you.
Just a thought.
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