Question for all. yella: If you think back (being the dumpee in your relationship) to your break-up, would you say that your feelings for that person were exaggerated based on the fact that the person isn't available, and that you were rejected?
What I mean is, are the thoughts of what was, or could have been, over powering the pain and bad that this person has caused, so you end up missing that person more because of the fact that he/she initiated the break-up?
I was thinking about my past relationships, and this question came to mind.
Any thoughts?
Re: Question for all. flyaway: ummm, can you run that one past me again? I'm totally confused.
let me see if I can paraphrase.
Do you end up missing your former partner quite badly, now that time has passed, because the emotions have cooled off?
if this is the question, my answer is NO. I don't miss him. I think I am still in the numb phase, with a bit of rage thrown in once and a while for good measure. ;)
flyaway
ps. stop drinking so much coffee, smiley. :P
ETA: I'm 19 months out of my last and final separation
Re: Question for all. kimberly: Definately, for me anyway. I always seem to want something more when it becomes unavailable to me. It's a really self-destuctive pattern but I can't seem to help it. I have heard that it's common. I truly believe my ego took a bigger blow than my heart when the ex left. Sure I loved him intensely but my desire for him to come back isn't because I want to be with him...............it's so I can have the chance to dump him, to hurt him like he did me. I want the ball back in my court and I know it's a totally foolish way to think but....................
Re: Question for all. Mo: I think I have experienced this on both ends. It is my opinion that yes, the feelings do intensify during those times. Fearing the unknown and starting over can be overwhelming and it may seem that accepting a bad situation is okay because it is the familiar situation to you. Make sence?
Re: Question for all. CDNgurl: Hi Smiley - yep... this is totally the case for me. I would have denied it first, but as time goes on I can see my bruised ego played a big part in my pain.
My ex is not all that. ::)
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