Re: Question for all. darkrose: [quote author=Smiley link=topic=36584.msg389547#msg389547 date=1161700429">
If you think back (being the dumpee in your relationship) to your break-up, would you say that your feelings for that person were exaggerated based on the fact that the person isn't available, and that you were rejected?
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I really think losing a loved one is like losing a limb. There's really two ways you can do it....
You can have a doctor remove the limb, which requires a surgical procedure and doctors appointments...
Or you can cut the damn thing off while playing around with power tools...
The first way is a little easier, you have some time to say goodbye to the limb, come to terms with the decision, seek counseling, whatever.. And the other way is an instant and traumatic severing of a limb (or relationship). There's no time to prepare and all that fun stuff, it's just gone in a flash..
I think I am fairly lucky because I indeed saw the writing on the wall..it made the separation easier. It hurt, but I think if I didn't see it coming, it would hurt much more than it did..I had about a year to prepare for it..at least subconsciously..
Question for all. yella: If you think back (being the dumpee in your relationship) to your break-up, would you say that your feelings for that person were exaggerated based on the fact that the person isn't available, and that you were rejected?
What I mean is, are the thoughts of what was, or could have been, over powering the pain and bad that this person has caused, so you end up missing that person more because of the fact that he/she initiated the break-up?
I was thinking about my past relationships, and this question came to mind.
Any thoughts?
Re: Question for all. flyaway: ummm, can you run that one past me again? I'm totally confused.
let me see if I can paraphrase.
Do you end up missing your former partner quite badly, now that time has passed, because the emotions have cooled off?
if this is the question, my answer is NO. I don't miss him. I think I am still in the numb phase, with a bit of rage thrown in once and a while for good measure. ;)
flyaway
ps. stop drinking so much coffee, smiley. :P
ETA: I'm 19 months out of my last and final separation
Re: Question for all. kimberly: Definately, for me anyway. I always seem to want something more when it becomes unavailable to me. It's a really self-destuctive pattern but I can't seem to help it. I have heard that it's common. I truly believe my ego took a bigger blow than my heart when the ex left. Sure I loved him intensely but my desire for him to come back isn't because I want to be with him...............it's so I can have the chance to dump him, to hurt him like he did me. I want the ball back in my court and I know it's a totally foolish way to think but....................
Re: Question for all. Mo: I think I have experienced this on both ends. It is my opinion that yes, the feelings do intensify during those times. Fearing the unknown and starting over can be overwhelming and it may seem that accepting a bad situation is okay because it is the familiar situation to you. Make sence?
