Re: Question for all. alonewith2: I almost fell into this trap. Two things helped me out a lot.
1. Reminding myself daily of the real ass that he was, and how much better off I would be without him.
2. Him reminding me daily of the real ass that he is, and how much better off I am without him. ;)
Re: Question for all. fly: Even though I was the one who ended up asking for the divorce, I still very much felt this way.
Why? it seems like a leaver would feel so much differently, but I felt so much..
I would long for the days when we would giggle together
I would wonder why he thanked me for setting him free when I asked for the divorce
I would wonder why I was not worth going to theapy together
I would wonder why he was happy when he packed his stuff and spent weeks thanking me for letting him be free
I wanted to be loved and never was.
He told me that he knew that we should not have been married and would have been miserable, but was so happy and thankful that I had the courage to set him free to live life agian.
Yeah, but I was the one who left, I suppose
Re: Question for all. allmusic76: i've read this post about a dozen times. I think I thought about this question more than any other post.
I used to think psychology was cool, so I liked to read a lot about dream analysis( Carl Jung rocks). I was thinking about the philosophical approach to dreams, or more specific fantasy. The "out of reachedness" of some things is what makes them so valuable.
We obviouslt still love the person, even though they have just ended it, so is it possible, that we are looking at the reconciliation or retrieval of our relationship as fantasy?
Re: Question for all. Bird: For me, I think it is and probably always will be 'what could have been'...even though divorcing my ex was the best thing for me (he is not a very nice person). I think it's only natural.
However, I'm not sure if it's because of the ex no longer being available. Probably has more to do with the fantasies we create in our heads of an ideal family life ???
I think I've just started blubbing...
Re: Question for all. Lumpy: [quote author=Smiley link=topic=36584.msg389547#msg389547 date=1161700429">
If you think back (being the dumpee in your relationship) to your break-up, would you say that your feelings for that person were exaggerated based on the fact that the person isn't available, and that you were rejected?
What I mean is, are the thoughts of what was, or could have been, over powering the pain and bad that this person has caused, so you end up missing that person more because of the fact that he/she initiated the break-up?
I was thinking about my past relationships, and this question came to mind.
Any thoughts?
[/quote">
Yup. Totally true in my case.
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