Re: Question for all. Bird: For me, I think it is and probably always will be 'what could have been'...even though divorcing my ex was the best thing for me (he is not a very nice person). I think it's only natural.
However, I'm not sure if it's because of the ex no longer being available. Probably has more to do with the fantasies we create in our heads of an ideal family life ???
I think I've just started blubbing...
Re: Question for all. Lumpy: [quote author=Smiley link=topic=36584.msg389547#msg389547 date=1161700429">
If you think back (being the dumpee in your relationship) to your break-up, would you say that your feelings for that person were exaggerated based on the fact that the person isn't available, and that you were rejected?
What I mean is, are the thoughts of what was, or could have been, over powering the pain and bad that this person has caused, so you end up missing that person more because of the fact that he/she initiated the break-up?
I was thinking about my past relationships, and this question came to mind.
Any thoughts?
[/quote">
Yup. Totally true in my case.
Re: Question for all. allmusic76: I'm forcing myself to forget. Plus my health issues have beena pretty awesome distraction.
Nothing like the oncologist to make the breakup blues go away!
Re: Question for all. LostTeacher: i think that sometimes we forget the pain, and only focus on the good. i think it's how we forget times where we were really hurt, and don't remember the pain. we remember the experience, but the pain leaves our minds.
i have been going thru this myself lately. sometimes i forget the bad, and only focus on the good. i also tend to focus on the what-ifs, and what-could-have-beens. it's hard not to.
but sometimes you have to force yourself to remember the bad, so that you don't get stuck in that pattern. so you can make yourself stronger. so that you can see that you are better than that.
LT
Re: Question for all. TLK: I have thought about that many times. I do believe that rejection is very overpowering. I am a very bad loser, but I lost a game I shouldn't have. Being dumped is one thing, but being dumped for another is devastating.
I would love to discuss this topic more with you, let me know what you think so far.
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