Re: I'm in helll :*( Crystal_Blue_024: How do I break this?? :'( :'( :'(
Everyone always tells me how amazing I am: "You're gorgeous, you're honest, you have an amazing heart, you have your own apartment, a nice car, a great job, you go to school, you've got everythnig going for you."
Why can't I see that? Why do I feel like I have NOTHING :'( :'( :'(
Re: I'm in helll :*( allilm: This might sound really weird, but I recall reading somewhere, that when you feel depressed, find someone worse off than you are and try to help them. Maybe volunteer at a soup kitchen, a shelter for abused women, become a Big Sister to a disadvantaged child, etc. It might help you refocuse your emotions.
And do everything you can to make it easier on you to not communicate with this guy. Like someone mentioned, delete his number from your phone and if you can, block him so you won't even get text messages from him.
Re: I'm in helll :*( chaotic: Crystal, You said it above. You have been with "someone" since high school. You have built up a dependency on having someone in your life.
To break this dependency, you need to realize how liberating being single can be. You do not need anyone to complete you, or validate you. This is a concept that is propagated by hollywood and the chick flicks.
One night this week, go out and have dinner by yourself. Not in hopes of meeting anyone, just go to the sushi bar and sit at the bar and have dinner. The biggest thing doing this taught me, was that I am not a freak for going out alone. I can do it and no one looks at me any different.
I want you to pick a couple things about you, that you want to work on. And concentrate on those over the next few weeks. Any time you start to think that you long for someone to be there. Work at one of these "things" a bit harder. It will keep your mind off things. Plus at the end, you will have made progress towards self improvement.
Re: I'm in helll :*( thejoker: Hells yeah to what Chaotic said.. find the positives in your life.. all the things you listed put you head and shoulders above a lot of people.
You gotta be comfortable alone with yourself before you can be alone with someone else ;)
Re: I'm in helll :*( grendalkhan: [quote author=Crystal_Blue_024 link=topic=36591.msg389655#msg389655 date=1161704955">
I can't seem to stop hurting myself...
I don't know how to be alone... I've always had someone ever since high school... The thought of being alone scares me to death, so I deal with whatever crap I'm dealt if it means I have someone there... I settle for whatever I can get... I don't know how to break that
I have huge issues with needing someone to affirm that I am a desirable person... I need someone to tell me I'm okay... My mom asked me yesterday what I was happy with in my life and I told her nothing... She asked me what makes me happy in my life, I told her nothing... I'm not happy... I'm miserable...
And I don't even know where to start, I don't even know how to change... I thought therapy was helping me become stronger and more independent, but I really don't see any change from the desperation and hopelessness I felt back in June... I feel nothing but emptiness...
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[size=08pt"> Wow - sounds like my mirror this morning.[/size">
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