Re: Missing the anger marfanoidus: lunnah, congratulations because you're are just now taking your first steps toward healing.
Your anger has kept your heart guarded all this time, but now your emotions (like emotions can do) are peeking out and demanding they get some attention.
Bear with me, and I hope this makes some sense:
[quote"> I would never take him back, yet I miss him like hell.[/quote">
No, you don't. You miss the idea you had in your mind of your future with him, the one you had before he turned violent. It was probably a beautiful picture.
[quote"> I miss the way his arms felt around me in our bed[/quote">
A woman needs to feel loved, wanted, desired. You apparently felt it with him at one point. You can feel it again, with someone new, someone you don't have to fear. Someone you can have a healthy relationship with.
[quote"> I'm sad every day that I could never feel how I used to when I would look at him.[/quote">
This is a distorted thought. You can feel that way, in a much stronger sense, but just not with him. And that is ok. Go find someone you are compatible with, and you will be amazed at how much deeper you connect.
[quote"> How is it possible to love someone and hate them at the same time???[/quote">
A human is composed of many attributes and dynamics. You love some of his attribute (be careful though, you may be loving your 'idea' of some of those attributes), and you hate some of his attributes. Take this for whatever it is worth to you, but make sure to give it some thought.
Listen, life goes on. So it didn't work out. Life goes on. You have another chance at happiness. You have another opportunity to survive and live to love another day.
You are alive and have a future.
Go make the best of it. Maybe he'll go to counseling and change, and your picture of your future will come true. Maybe not. Just make the most of what you have.
good luck to you,
walt
Missing the anger lunnah: I filled in March and it was all said & done in Aug. For 6 months I've been so angry - at him, at how he treated me & what he did to me ( let's just say he pulled a 'Mike Tyson' on me) I was angry that my happily ever after was over and I was o.k. with all that anger - it kept me warm at night. But now the sadness is really getting to me and almost making me feel like a crazy person. I would never take him back, yet I miss him like hell. I would be afraid to be alone with him, yet I miss the way his arms felt around me in our bed. I miss believing he would never hurt me, even though I now know the truth. I'm sad every day that I could never feel how I used to when I would look at him. How is it possible to love someone and hate them at the same time??? Someone please tell me how long befor this sadness fades away....
Re: Missing the anger mmm555: I know exactly what you are saying. I'm going through something very similar, but it happened in January. While I can't tell you how long this is going to last, I can tell you that you're on your way to overcoming it. Anger is a secondary emotion. It is how you were reacting to the sadness. But now you are ready to experience the TRUE emotion behind it. So let yourself feel sad. Get all those feelings out. Pretty soon it will only be lingering, and then gone completely. A good way to speed up the process is to change your way of thinking. Thoughts become words, words become actions, actions become routines. Why not think to yourself: "I'm ok. I'm better off without him. I will be loved again." and pretty soon it will become a reality.
Re: Missing the anger Trish: Yeah finding out Forever is a big pile of bullshit is fun ain't it LOL!!!
Re: Missing the anger anewday: I know exactly what you are going through. It's like you looked into my journal and posted it on ojar. I have recently experienced th eanger fading and all the depression and longing rushing in to fill its place. I'm sorry I don;t have any adivce for you and I have no idea how long it is going to last, but at least we can go through it together.
