Re: Missing the anger Trish: give it 6 months you will see the difference. They say it takes half the time you were with them to recover. I am not spending 10 years on getting over a jerk. SO your healing in my opinion depends on you. I plan on being fine by 07 making it a total of 9 months of recover tops!!!
1 month is brand new. It will take more time than that. You will go through every stage and bounce around in them for a while. Sucks but allow yourself to go through it. It will help.
Re: Missing the anger seyfert: I know exactly what you mean. When the anger left, I wondered if I wasn't addicted to anger. I was bored, not necessarily sad.
I decided to sit in my boredom and just be bored. It was hard. I wanted to drink at first, then I wanted to get involved in a grass roots war protest. :o
I didn't do either and today, I feel a strange peacefulness. Just let it happen. It will get better.
Re: Missing the anger marfanoidus: lunnah, congratulations because you're are just now taking your first steps toward healing.
Your anger has kept your heart guarded all this time, but now your emotions (like emotions can do) are peeking out and demanding they get some attention.
Bear with me, and I hope this makes some sense:
[quote"> I would never take him back, yet I miss him like hell.[/quote">
No, you don't. You miss the idea you had in your mind of your future with him, the one you had before he turned violent. It was probably a beautiful picture.
[quote"> I miss the way his arms felt around me in our bed[/quote">
A woman needs to feel loved, wanted, desired. You apparently felt it with him at one point. You can feel it again, with someone new, someone you don't have to fear. Someone you can have a healthy relationship with.
[quote"> I'm sad every day that I could never feel how I used to when I would look at him.[/quote">
This is a distorted thought. You can feel that way, in a much stronger sense, but just not with him. And that is ok. Go find someone you are compatible with, and you will be amazed at how much deeper you connect.
[quote"> How is it possible to love someone and hate them at the same time???[/quote">
A human is composed of many attributes and dynamics. You love some of his attribute (be careful though, you may be loving your 'idea' of some of those attributes), and you hate some of his attributes. Take this for whatever it is worth to you, but make sure to give it some thought.
Listen, life goes on. So it didn't work out. Life goes on. You have another chance at happiness. You have another opportunity to survive and live to love another day.
You are alive and have a future.
Go make the best of it. Maybe he'll go to counseling and change, and your picture of your future will come true. Maybe not. Just make the most of what you have.
good luck to you,
walt
Re: Missing the anger maria23: dear lunnah!! i know exactly what u r talking abt but isn't it time for u to move on!!!! a month ago my ex asked me : do u hate me? and i answered : no and i don't want to!!! i don't know what do u think of that!??! but i find it easier for me to move on and meet new people!! meet my friends and have fun!! focus on myself !!! that doesn't mean i'm not hurt but i refuse to make him the center of my life!! not anymore !!!
but i want u to think of this: when u say u miss him!! i want u to ask urself if u really miss HIM or the person u taught he was!!!
wish u the best
