I'm FINALLY coming out... mariher: Only a few people know about this and I have been debating for months if I should have posted here about what I've been going through.
I have read about sooo many different things here and read people's stories that I don't know and I've finally decided that it is okay to tell ppl about what I've been suffering from for the past couple of years.
I have OCD. I know it's probably not that much of a big deal but it's something I've had to live with for a long time.
There are different types of OCD, I suffer from multiple images in my mind with letters and numbers and I count letters and numbers in my head ALL DAY EVERYDAY. I even developed a system in which I use my fingers on my hands to represent certain letters of the alphabet. I see a particular word and I'll spell the word out on my fingers using this "system". I go from my left hand to my right hand. It became really bad when I got pregnant and it's been very constant since then.
I even reject certain words if I can't spell them out properly, it's frustrating most of the time because it doesn't allow me to concentrate on other things, more important things that I have to do.
I count everything in pairs. I hate seeing certain objects that are uneven. Like for example, in a sentence I'll read the number of words in the sentence and hopefully it'll have an even number of words. I keep doing it until I find something that is even. Ugh, I know it's sooo frustrating.
I've gotten better with it, I'm learning to deal with it. I've also discovered very recently as a matter of fact, that playing Scrabble has helped me out greatly. It slows down my "word tumbling" and I get to concentrate on making words. All of this is just a small portion of how bad it really is. There are many different variations of what I do. It's hard to keep my mind clear almost ALL OF THE TIME.
So there it goes, I've finally told all of you guys one of my biggest secrets.
It feels good to let it out.
Re: I'm FINALLY coming out... Gren: My partner at my last job was OCD. Everything in our workplace had to perfectly angular - and I mean he would even measure. I thought it a littel strange at first, but once I found out what it was, I tried to accomodate him as best I could while at work. IN return, he listened to me whine about my marital problems.
Re: I'm FINALLY coming out... idocsteve: Mariher,
As one who is no stranger to obsessive compulsive thoughts; may I suggest that if you have not already done so, seek out a therapist who specializes in this type of disorder. There are medications that are specifically designed for OCD, and they have worked wonders in countless (pardon the pun) patients.
You do not have to, you should not have to, live like this from day to day. Please take care of yourself.
Re: I'm FINALLY coming out... jannette Garcia: Hey Mariher,
I am so sorry you have to go through that. My boyfriend has OCD, and sometimes he is miserable. He has been to therapy and he learned how to do something called cognitive therapy, I'm not so sure of how it works, but it has helped him a lot. It also helps him to go to church (dont ask me why, I"m not very religious, but it helps him a lot) And like Steve said, seek a therapist. Good luck.
Re: I'm FINALLY coming out... Rain_Gray: Mariher,
My couples counsellor has started seeing me as an individual because of his former specialization in OCD, I have an odd minor form of it in which I sometimes see extremely violent and gorey images in my mind involuntarily, after which I have to spend a long time with my eyes squeezed shut to make the images disappear (it's like something out of a horror movie), sometimes I shower to try and cleanse the images out of my head. They are called intrusive images, and it seems you are experiencing the same (although different) disorder.
My therapist explains that I'm not psychotic because I'm not creating these images out of my own free will, but he says anxiety and stress can affect the severity of OCD sufferers' compulsions. He has given me a regimen that I must follow everyday in order to unwind and relax, you can even do some of the things in your work place or in public. If you want I can give you a few ideas on how to lower your stress level and hopefully clear your mind a bit.
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