Re: Does Anyone Notice This? chaotic: I am going to go out on a limb here and say that your "traits" that you are looking for are often found in women that have the same personal style and physical attributes.
What I am saying is that you go to a club and see a woman that is dressed a certain way, has a certain look to her and you feel the attraction. When you talk to her, you find that she has the "wild side" or that she is not the typical woman. You are going for a certain look not a set of qualities.
I love a woman that has a "wild side" as you put it, but your "qualities" that you say you are attracted to are kind of vague. And perhaps yours are vague so that you can make them fit the woman. Try expanding on the qualities you are looking for. Try looking for those qualities in different places. It seems the places you are currently looking are not working for you.
I think you will find that if you look for some other more substantial qualities (other than a wild side and sense of adventure), you will find a good woman with those. In my opinion, most great women (who are prim and proper most of the time), have a wild side that when unleashed....can be way more fun than the hood rats at the clubs.
Re: Does Anyone Notice This? icwtsmnl: actually, its ME i need to get away from. :-\
Re: Does Anyone Notice This? Spike: After careful consideration, I have decided to become a hermit. It seems the best and easiest way to avoid any more heart ache.
Re: Does Anyone Notice This? l0progression: [quote author=Cringe link=topic=37014.msg396613#msg396613 date=1162557873">
You have recovered, so to speak, and it's time to start dating. Has anyone noticed that they go after the exact same qualities/red flags, that they just got away from? Are we destined to be with the same type of person, even though we know it's bad for us?
[/quote">
The lowest common denominator in every relationship you are in is you. Sometimes you end up with the same type of women, because those same types of women are all drawn to a certain set of characteristic. Traits that you possess.
It doesn't mean you are a bad person or have character flaws, it just means that a certain characteristic always tends to draw the same kind of girl.
I have the same problem. I always end up with really eccentric girls, party girls, and crazy girls with fucked up lives. I have no idea why I seem to attract this type, but I always end up with this type of girl. I suppose I am eccentric to a certain extend myself, I do party/go to the bar quite a bit so I do tend to meet women under that atmosphere, but where I am lost is the crazy girl bit. I had a normal upbringing and I'm mentally stable. For whatever reason, the girls tend to come from broken homes or at least dysfunctional homes. They don't have mental issues, but they all seem bloody crazy.
Re: Does Anyone Notice This? zjmusashi: Sounds like you need ZJMusashi's Guidebook for Dating Post-Divorce. Inside you'll find such gems as:
1. Saying you're ready to date and actually being ready to date are two different things. If you think about your ex more that once or twice a week, with either longing or anger, you're not ready. If you're doing it to "get back at your ex", you're not ready. And more than likely, they could care less.
If you've spent little to no time thinking about what you want out of life now that you're single (and I'm not just talking relationship-wise but in general), you're not ready.
If you're confident in yourself, have goals (small or large) that you can achieve whether you're with someone or not, and feeling good about yourself - THEN you're ready.
2. You need a goal in mind when dating. This goal can either lead to a happy and fulfilled single life, or right back down the road to misery.
If your goal is to just have fun, meet new people, and go with the flow, you're on the right track. The idea is to do something that you enjoy, and the experience is made better by having good company with you.
If your goal is to find your next husband/wife, you will fail miserably. You're putting too much pressure on yourself, on the person you're with, and your expectations are too high. Yes, a blue moon might appear in the sky and you'll find "The One" - but more than likely, you've just found someone who's dealing with their own baggage and has their own agenda.
If you're just looking to get lucky, you've just turned your date into a prostitute. Good luck with that.
3. Be honest with yourself and your potential date. And develop active listening skills - it helps to pick up on whether your date is being honest with you as much as you are with them.
4. Regardless of how you think you look, nothing is sexier than confidence. The opposite sex can smell desperation a mile away, and the odor is akin to a garbage dump.
5. When looking for a potential date, it's a good idea to have a few deal breakers in mind, but don't be so restrictive. Remember, you're just out on a date, not looking to meet your next spouse. I try to stick to the big three - Smoking, Drinking, and Personal Hygiene. I am going to spend time with this person - if they smoke like their on fire, drink alcohol like it's water, and can't be bothered to shower or wear clean clothes on your date, then you're not going to have fun on the date anyway.
Avoid zealots - and I'm not just talking about religious people here. I'm including rabid parents who can speak of nothing but their children, hobbyists who eat, sleep, and breathe their particular recreational activity, and those that could give Adonis a run for his money in the Self-Love category.
People with interests different than yours may open you up to a world you never thought about. You might find you have little in common, but if you use those active listening skills I mentioned earlier, you can ask questions and show interest in their life, and really, that's all any of us wants when we meet someone new.
6. Don't be discouraged by bad dates. They happen. Learn from the experience.
7. Don't freak if you make a "mistake" - you're going to be nervous, and so will they. Smile, laugh it off, apologize, and move on quickly. It shows that you're human.
8. This one is mainly for the guys. Keep in mind that men and women are approached differently and have differing concerns for the date. A woman wants to not only feel appreciated, but safe. In this day and age with all the wacko nutjobs out there, she's taking a chance on you that you're a normal guy. I dated a girl who never let me pick her up at her house, as she didn't want me to know where she lived, even though she didn't have a car and took the bus instead. Let your date set the pace for the day/evening - yes, be a confident, take-charge, capable kind of guy, but you can easily tell if the person you're with wants to spend more time with you or get closer.
9. And finally, keep your commitments. If you say you'll be there at 7, be there at 7. Call when you say you'll call. It shows you're considerate of the other person. Life has a way of tossing us curveballs, be understanding when it happens to your date. Call if you're going to be late or if something comes up preventing you from making the date - and as soon as possible.
Click More for the next page.
