Words,what they mean and their effects and more McDee: I have posted a topic kind of relative to this one before. Somehow you might wonder why am all centered around words - in my opinion, words are 1) the basis of communication 2) As gradually or as fast as they come out, they should/ will depict one's mindset or generally their pattern of thought.
I am in a marriage that am veering so close to terminating (am trying to avoid the "divorce" word, "terminating" gives me the "strength" to move on because it sounds vicious and carries a ton of positive mental energy towards her though all to my benefit). One this i should state before i go any further is that i am a very reserved,objective and focussed person. I do not say anything if i do not have to say it.(this will answer a question or two down the passage.)
My scenario: a few yrs ago i Meet a girl after an out of town function, don't know much about her until i drop her off at her house, first she is rather shy,quiet and SEEMS reserved, i think i have met a fair match. Dropping her off, i make some quick mental notes about her life/world. (not certain but think i will just carry on till i figure her life out). Long story short, she is living a life on the "down/lower end" of it- literally struggling day by day,pay check to pay check e.t.c. I am/was not quite on the other/better side of it but am/was doing well and have/had alittle bit to spare. Take pity/compassion for her and her 3 kids. Start helping out here and there. Soon we are an entity and i let her move to where am staying 12hrs away from her place. Behind her she leaves/left a life of deceit,dejection,uncertainty coupled with poverty e.t.c. Come the words; "i don't knowwhat i would ever do without you, you mean everything in life and more than i could ever dream of", "you picked me up and gave me and my kids a life -a better life", well just imagine words along these two lines and of course i will not give you up to ANYONE without a fight. Well like i said i am reserved quiet e.t.c, turns out that she was as quiet only because she was going through hell in life and didn't trust anybody, had no stability and was headed on a downward spiral in life. I gave her and her kids not everything but what i could afford of stability and a sense of direction in life, while i compromised my own goals and objectives to a certain extent (this is haunting me now). She started to get her life around, kids started to get straightened out e.t.c and the words flew around often - "best thing that ever happened to me..", i felt proud of myself for making a difference in someones lifeand started to plan bigger things. Little did i know i was just helping her build a negative ego. Long story short, i said just a few words but meant them and came through with them, she said a ton of words and as of today, she is working a a great place, making alot more money than she did before when she moved here, i guess i was just the stepping stone for her and her kids. She did something unrespectable and i moved out, though i stay a night or two at the house since, all my work contacts are under that address. Intimacy has dwindled to almost none, i dread the nights i spend in the same bed with her, her words keep sounding off in my mind about how she can't imagine what would possibly be a greater blessing in life than me. Only words i ever told her fro mthe start were that i loved and cared about and her kids alot and would always take care of them. I guess money has it's ways of changing people. While i am not at as good a financial state like was when we met and she is getting alittle bit better in that aspect and growing horns, all i tell her is that she never had to say too many words for nothing because all it now sums upto is that it was "talk for the moment". Just wanted to see some of your opinions,experiences with the effects of words in relation to your own deeds. Sorry for the long citation :)
Re: Words,what they mean and their effects and more Gren: The expression "ex-wife" gives me the jeebies in a way that sends cats crawling up my spine - izzat what you mean?
