struggling after getting back together tripny2k6: I'm posting here again for support and I cant thank you all enough for helping me throughout this mess.
For those of you who have been following me through my ordeal, it is now coming to the time when she is moving into her own house out of her parents. Again, her parents hate me and have know idea that we have worked things out yet. Anyway, she is scared to death to approach them about this. She is actually going to write them a letter b/c they will not even let her talk to them without yelling. The counselor advised me that this is a good idea as well. We are supposed to start counseling together next Thursday.
Today I saw her outside at work for a few minutes. Again, we talked about the situation b/c we can not even really see each other unless she has an excuse to leave her parents house. I dont think she is going to be in a rush to tell them anything. She changes the subject every time we talk about it. I tell her that I miss my dog that she has and she changes the subject. It just really irratates me. It makes me feel like she doesnt care what I have to go through as long as her parents dont get on her about seeing me again.
how should I be looking at this? Do I need to be more patient?
Re: struggling after getting back together idocsteve: She's probably getting stressed out over her move, and also from keeping the truth from her parents. Like I said in your other thread, give her time and space, everything is moving in your direction, just not as fast as you would like. All you are gonna do by being impatient is screw things up (again).
Is the RO still in place? That has to be addressed before you move in with her.
Re: struggling after getting back together Rain_Gray: I agree with Steve... AGAIN. (Apparently Steve is on a roll in the advice department.)
Be patient. And about this RO, you honestly shouldn't be seeing her at all until it has been removed, especially if her parents are less than thrilled about your existence. That's very risky business.
Don't see it as her not caring about how you feel. The case is probably more like she doesn't want her parents to be upset about your reconciliation. She wants her parents to have a good opinion of you, that obviously isn't going to happen so she's keeping the news from them until things have calmed down a bit and they can approach the situation without completely freaking out. This is going to take time. She wants to have a life with you obviously but she can't do that if her parents are constantly harrassing the two of you. Again, be patient. Like Steve said, everything is moving in your direction.
Re: struggling after getting back together tripny2k6: This has been going on with her parents for 16 months b/c she is unable to stand up to them. We can be together until she at least tells them what has been going on for the past 6 weeks with us getting back together. Its her attitude, she doesnt even want to talk about it. She told me today that she is scared to death of them, but she lets them come between us?
Re: struggling after getting back together idocsteve: She is being forced to choose either you or her parents, not an easy thing to do. Right now you are winning, and it will stay that way if you don't screw things up by being impatient with her.
