Re: My wife said she loves another man wtfjusthappenned: [quote author=kev link=topic=37041.msg397187#msg397187 date=1162594784">
It's very selfish what the cheating (and even if they are not sleeping together, she is cheating. she is not honoring her commitment to you) spouse does. And then they put you in a position of making you think that you did something wrong.
Soconfuse, only you know what you should do. every one of us here had different ways of dealing with our breakups. What i tell everybody is essential advice: FOCUS ON YOURSELF. Don't focus on your marriage, don't dwell on what you can do to save it. I am not saying to not attempt it, but it can't be one-sided.
I think it is time to consider delivering ulitmatums. She is essentially telling you that you have to live with her choices. But, translate that into "If things don't work out with the new guy, you are my standby and i know you will take me back". That is arrogant and selfish.
Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best my friend, but this isn't going to be easy. I know you love your wife, but she has blatantly told you that she isn't in love with you anymore, and basically is doing something to you that a person wouldn't do to their worst enemy.
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Amen! Could not have said it better!
Make sure before you decide your course though....when it's all said and done, can you forgive her? And when? Do you think, honestly, you can trust her? This parts up to you to answer, noone here can make that decision for you.
I have the same thing to decide right now. I don't wish to share all that at the moment though.....
Sorry for your loss though, I know this ain't easy. Just remember, you can't make someone happy, if they can't be happy on their own in the first place!
Re: My wife said she loves another man Whirlpool: Listen to me, counseling.
You have gotten enough advice here on what to do, some of it advice that is being fueled by the posters own emotions based on their situation, not yours. Remember that. You obviously love your wife and she is willing to give it a chance. Get some professional help from here on out and use this board for emotional support only.
Some of you need to be more aware of others situations here, telling this guy to "kick his wife to the curb", "no contact", etc, will likely only serve to chase her right back into this other mans arms. I know you mean well but this marriage is not destroyed, yet.
Re: My wife said she loves another man allmusic76: I agree with Whirlpool.... none of us are experts... all we can do is hand off the benefits ( and perils) of our own experiences.
If you need to vent, cry, yell, swear or just dump your emotions out.... this is the place...
If you want to repair things... go to a pro.
Re: My wife said she loves another man lumbeeman: i think chief and whirpool are both right in a way, she doesnt respect you right now, and at the same time shes shown interest in saving the marriage. you definatly need to go to counseling, even if its by yourself.you cant force her to go but go for yourself it may help you undesrtand things about yourself.BUT AT THE SAME TIME you need to limit your contact with her make hjer see what shes missing, tough love so to speak,if i wouldve done the combonation of the two, i wouldve saved my marriage.i believe everything should be done by both parties to save a marrriage.but as we all know it usually is one sided, with the ones who are left behind trying to patch things up, but the fact is if she sees whats she going to lose shell have to really think about things, i wish you luck
Re: My wife said she loves another man allmusic76: as always.. i tend to agree with lumbeeman...
Getting into a relationship tends to take 2 people, yet somehow getting out of it is often one-sided and ends up only taking one person. Go figure. Doesn't seem right. I think there should be some natural law that prevents this.
Of course, there is the whole socks in the dryer problem too... 2 go in, 1 comes out.
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