When does the anger and hurt go away.... charbie: Hi All, I am back again......
Husband left 1/06 and divorce final 6/06.
My ex and I divorced he is now with his new woman (someone I know of course). We have two babies 3 and 1. I dont have proof but I think they were getting together starting about a year ago but, I dont even want to get into that part. I just know the anger and rage from this whole divorce is just killing me!! I try to tell myself....be nice...kill him with kidness....I JUST CANT!!!! I act like a complete BITCH when I see or talk to him. It doesnt help of course when he brings the OW around when he picks up and drops off the kids when I have asked him time and time again to keep her away from me. I am filled with soooooo much anger and hatred and I just dont want to be like this anymore but, I am soooo hurt by this whole thing. I mean I don think I will EVER forgive him for this. EVER!!! They say forgiveness will set me free.....then I need alot of help I guess because I just dont see it happening. Any advice from anyone to help me find peace within me? Im just lost.
Re: When does the anger and hurt go away.... allmusic76: well... the best advice I could give, would to talk to a pro. this seems more in the area of a counselor than us.
I understand the frustration that this all causes.
Men my gf left me, it wasn't that she just broke up with me, it was always like she erased any memory of any good time we ever shared. She refuses to acknowledge any of it. I look back and think " Did any of this actually happen?"
That's not healthy. Blocking out emotions just causes problems later.
Don't let that happen to you. Let it out. Scream, yell, piss, moan etc. Come here and be belligerent and frustrated. There are two forums here for "unsent letters' that make for a great venting platform. But if you are looking for advice to get on the right track, all anyone here can do is share experiences... the best place to be would be talking to a counselor who is trained to help you get back on track.
Re: When does the anger and hurt go away.... smokin: charbie,
i too could have wrote that letter. i too am experiencing the HATRED for my ex, and my ex best friend whom she was f*cking around on me with....
i cannot seem to let go of the hate. i hate them both to scarey porportions. i wish she has the worst life possible, and others i dont want to list. i have been to anger management, to help me deal with these emotions, and others. nothing seems to help.. i am with you, when you say "I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM" but at the same time, we are putting ourselves through hell by not forgiving.
but atlast, i can not find the key to forgiving. maybe you will. i know ive tried, and i dont see it happening.... it suxs. if you find the key, let me know.
GTM
Re: When does the anger and hurt go away.... Bluewolf030: [quote author=charbie link=topic=37053.msg397377#msg397377 date=1162643452">
Hi All, I am back again......
Husband left 1/06 and divorce final 6/06.
My ex and I divorced he is now with his new woman (someone I know of course). We have two babies 3 and 1. I dont have proof but I think they were getting together starting about a year ago but, I dont even want to get into that part. I just know the anger and rage from this whole divorce is just killing me!! I try to tell myself....be nice...kill him with kidness....I JUST CANT!!!! I act like a complete BITCH when I see or talk to him. It doesnt help of course when he brings the OW around when he picks up and drops off the kids when I have asked him time and time again to keep her away from me. I am filled with soooooo much anger and hatred and I just dont want to be like this anymore but, I am soooo hurt by this whole thing. I mean I don think I will EVER forgive him for this. EVER!!! They say forgiveness will set me free.....then I need alot of help I guess because I just dont see it happening. Any advice from anyone to help me find peace within me? Im just lost.
[/quote">
The first time I went through a breakup it was very much like what your going through, she decided she liked one of my friends, says that she never fcked around before hand, but Im sure they were... at any rate our daughters at that time were with me, and they were 3 and 1.. it took me a few years I think before I could talk to her without feeling angry or hateful.. You do get past it though. You eventually have to for the sake of your children.
Now looking back I don't really regret anything my experiences with her, and the memories, both good and bad, make me who I am today.
The best revenge I ever got at that point in my life though was to do very well, for myself, with my children. She was the one who ended up all messed up because of it in the end, and I just moved on... Although it did take a while.
Re: When does the anger and hurt go away.... kimberly: You need lots of strength and dignity! Hard to do trust me I know. I tell myself when he comes home, be sweet, be calm and serene..............what do I do scream myself hoarse and throw all his cd's on the lawn (neighbour's got a good show that day, me whipping dvd's like frizzbies). I am getting better because I am proud for how I'm coping and I am praying like crazy. The prayer really helps, like meditation it keeps me calm and in perspective. I genuinely like myself for the first time in my life. He is (your ex) a little insignificant speck on a huge planet filled with people that would never hurt you like that.
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