Re: when you're over it katbuttkid: allmusic,
right. In sociological terms they call what you are talking about the "Principle of Least Interest"
The person least interested has the power.
That's sort of different, I think, becuase it's talking about negotiaions, persuasion, power and influence. I'm mainly thinking about indidcators about being through something.
I had a traumatic experience in my life that haunted me for some time. Every time I drove over a bridge, it reminded me of the suicide, and I'd become very emotional. And then one day... I crossed a bridge, and realized I'd done it without even thinking.
I can say "Suicide" now wihtout feeling a jab of pain in my gut. I can think about him and not be sad....
If I can heal from that, I can heal from a 3 year marriage to a messed up man.
It's been a year+ since the D was final, and I'm just now realizing that if I see him again, socially, out grocery shopping, or we end up working in the same place... so what?
I don't care about having some sort of upper hand on the situation. I'm not interested in him or knowing him, or having anything to do with him.
Now, he could make that a problem for me... start coming around, calling me, or asking me if I'm over it (rather than let it be seen and dually noted)-- he's manipulative and weird like that. IN which case, then yes, I'll have the principle of least interest, and the power.
And I won't abuse that power.
The peace I feel letting it all go is all I need, really. You know?
Re: when you're over it allmusic76: I've heard that too... about Love and indifference being opposites.
I think that fits with the phrase " the person who cares the least in a relationship, is the person who holds the most power".
Indifference is a mighty blade indeed.
Re: when you're over it katbuttkid: Good thinking folks!
Yes, some of us just aren't vindictive by nature.
But that's what I think this quote means, however you look at it.
If you are holding your tongue and taking the high road, but still feel it... well, that's not being over it.
I think it's good to hold your tongue, don't get me wrong. But at the same time... I always feel that even when I am holding my tongue, some part of my real feelings are showing through. Maybe I'm just more transparent, or maybe I want the credit for my good behavior, I dunno.
I wish I had taken the high road in my D, because it would have been easier to get over. REacting only exacerbates the issue.
Anyway, I like that quote because I think it goes along with something I think Budda (?) might have said about Hate not being the opposite of Love, but that indifference is.
when you're over it katbuttkid: You'll know you're over it when you have the opportunity to get even, and you don't take it.
---Diary of a Mad Black Woman.
Something to think about.
Tree
Re: when you're over it mariher: That is EXACTLY the reason why I know it's finally over.
