Pop it or let it go away no more tears: Lol to what you may be thinking...but i am talking about a pimple. You have a pimple, its ugly, u want it gone, so u pop it and get a scar instead of letting it heal itself on its own with no scar. You want the bad look gone..the good look back now.
I have taken a hard look at my posts, my responses, and the advice given by numerous fellow ojarians. I am still struggling with getting over my X. But now that i have taken a hard look at my struggles to do so i have realized something. I tried to pop her memory from mine like it was a pimple..just pop it...its gone 2morrow. So thats the route i took..and now i have a big scar to look at.
Instead of just letting it go and moving on....i now have the scar of my actions. I have in my effort to both get her back / forget her managed to make myself look like a jackass to alot of people. When i couldve just let it go and eventually it would of went away on its own. No scar...no regrests.
And im talking made myself look like a jackass to quitting an awesome job, moving, losing possesions, and ignoring my family and losing alot of close friends in the process.
Now u may say it will never go away on its own...and this may be true. But just ask me...you cant just pop someone away. It takes time..patience...and strong character. That has been my problem...i have tried to force this away. You cant do that. When i sit down and read my last couple posts ( and the many response ) it hit me...i was trying to force you people into saying something i wanted to hear..and when i didnt hear it i reacted in a way that was still stimming from my emotions about the way my relationship with her ended.
Altough the responses i got and the responses i made in my last 2 posts got out of hand...still in some wierd way...ojar has helped me again. I will not try to force this away...i will let it ride its course and live life the happiest i can make it. All you can do.
Anybody out there who is debating calling the X...begging the X...ignoring ur family and friends....doing something drastic ( like quitting a job and moving )... trying to forcefeed ur brain the person is gone....ur post is gonna look alot like this 1 in the future. After all the advice i have recieved and all i have looked up...the most common is JUST LET GO. Its not easy but its an easier route then torturing urself
Sometimes u realize things in the wierdest ways...and to a few people i have responded to in my posts...keep posting to me..i need it. Bad or Good
Ill take any advice thrown at me ( okay ill laugh even a crying baby ) ..I feel so much better after really thinking about things. Maybe i should do it more often...Im saying thinking about everything in ur reality and not focusing on " that person "....sh!t it will do wonders...try it.
Damn the door is locked....well the key has to be somewhere....u gonna find the key to open the door or just sit back down ?
LETS GET THE F**K UP AND FIND THE KEY PEOPLE...ITS THERE...IT HAS TO BE...
Just dont try to break the door down urself.....cuz it wont open....trust me...i have scars to prove it.
Pop that pimple biting u on the ass or let it go away....its ur call
NMT
Re: Pop it or let it go away RSGinATX: Nice post, NMT.
What I have found through this whole ordeal..both my mistakes and successes...is that its not an issue of cutting away the pain, or of trying to endure it until it goes away on its own. There is an army of the hurt here on Ojar who have either suffered the path of carving away pieces of themselves to stop the hurt or who have suffered the longer path of letting something fade on its own.
Neither of these paths address the heart of the matter. When we are left alone, the thing that needs the most attention..the most repair...is ourselves. If one can keep themselves important...love themselves for a change...they may find that they can create a healthy whole of themselves without the ex. If you try to force it (pop it) you must carve away a bit of yourself since that pain you feel is the fact that you define yourself as one with the ex. If you sit around and let it fade away you're really just sitting around watching the decay of yourself since you still define yourself as part of the pair.
Understanding and loving yourself may seem indirect...may make you impatient to stop the pain..but its the best course to ending up as a whole, strong person.
Good luck on rebuilding the lost parts of yourself, NMT..and good luck to us all.
Wink
Re: Pop it or let it go away Whirlpool: Now you are on track NMT. Moving forward, good post.
Re: Pop it or let it go away alonewith2: Great analogy and so true!
You pop a pimple; you get a scar. That scar will be a constant reminder of what was once there. Maybe over time, if you are lucky, it will fade. However, it will take years, and even then, a remnant may still remain.
The other way is to just sit back and watch the pimple heal on its own. However, too many people keep their focus on that pimple monitoring it's daily progress, but they forget to take care of the rest of the package - themselves.
Re: Pop it or let it go away yella: I'm really glad that you posted this, and realized what you were doing.
At one point or another, we've all held anger. While anger can be a very useful tool as growing past something bad, it can be a severe danger if blown in the wrong direction, as you found out.
I commend you on recognizing your own set backs, and I'm glad that you are letting people help you, rather than demanding it.
See? We're a helpful, caring, and forgiving community. ;)
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