Re: i think im getting closer allmusic76: thanks C.
HUGS.
The point of this really isn't to drudge up support. I mean, I already had the breakdown, I'm already seeing someone for it. The point is to make people aware.
A Breakdown is basically a combination of two things... it's a lack of coping mechanisms(or an overload of pressure) and it's a lack of self awareness. If we were aware we were taking on too much, then we would be able to tone it down and back off whatever it is that is stressing us out.
i hope people read this and think'' Gosh... that sounds like me... or I know someone like that... and they find a way to overcome it or get the help they need.
There is no shame in seeing a counselor or taking medication to solve a problem. That's what it's there for. I like my counselor. Mostly, because there aren't meds involved... he wants to see if we can raise my awareness and take it from there.
Re: i think im getting closer allmusic76: And maybe I'm not....
The closer I feel I get to figuring out why things happened... the further I get from feeling better.
It's hard to accept losing someone you still love deep down.
Re: i think im getting closer lonewolf: Allmusic,
I believe in a situation like we're in, we'll always love them, no matter what. Despite the hurt, pain and occasional anger, i know deep down she'll always be in my heart.
That's how i feel anyway. I can't speak for you.
It took me a while to accept it, and now that i do yes it hurts, but its enabled me to take baby steps forward.
I have no regrets in loving her. None at all. the only regret is mine, and mine alone. It still doesn't mean i won't get down days, i still do and will probably for the next couple of months.
It is hard to accept your losing the very person you still love, but you have to, WE have to. We can't go backwards in time and change things. We can only move forward, friend. So i suggest you do.
Re: i think im getting closer allmusic76: Thanks man... I'm trying believe me.
It's a sideways motion sometimes.
The sad thing, is I do have some regrets. Not on my behalf, but on my sons. My son loved her. He never really took to his mother ( if you can imagine.) This was the first real time he ever had a female figure in his life other than his grandmother.
I was really skeptical about letting them meet, and I had all sorts of long talks with her about how important it was. They bonded so well, and the way she left... she abandoned him too. He still asks me when he'll get to see her again, and no amount of explaining helps. He's really devastated over it. He gets mad at me, and asks me why she left. He gets mad at her because she had told him she was going to look after me.
I really have no clue how to handle this part of it. She called to speak to him the week she broke up with me, telling him how she couldn't wait to talk to him again.
The part that kills me was that she didn't even make an attempt. When kids hang in the balance, and you don't try... it just isn't right. So I do regret that part, because I apparently made a very bad judgement call, and it has affected my son in a very very very powerful manner. That is my fault I guess.
Thanks LW, you're posts always tend to cheer me up.
If I could go back in time to change one thing, I'd fix it for you just because you've been so supportive.
Re: i think im getting closer lonewolf: [quote author=allmusic76 link=topic=37086.msg399147#msg399147 date=1162948942">
If I could go back in time to change one thing, I'd fix it for you just because you've been so supportive.
[/quote">
I would never ask that of you, but thank you for your offer, even if it were possible. And i'm not being supportive, i've always felt compelled to help people, and in a sense, its helping me vent about my problems, in hekping others like you and i, here on Ojar.
It's funny though, i've always dedicated my time to others, especially to my now ex-fiancee. But in the end she says said she detests that i waste all my time on her and never on me :(
Hang in there, AM. Things should surely look better soon, for both you and i. We just have to slog out the next year of our lives.
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