Re: i think im getting closer lonewolf: [quote author=allmusic76 link=topic=37086.msg399147#msg399147 date=1162948942">
If I could go back in time to change one thing, I'd fix it for you just because you've been so supportive.
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I would never ask that of you, but thank you for your offer, even if it were possible. And i'm not being supportive, i've always felt compelled to help people, and in a sense, its helping me vent about my problems, in hekping others like you and i, here on Ojar.
It's funny though, i've always dedicated my time to others, especially to my now ex-fiancee. But in the end she says said she detests that i waste all my time on her and never on me :(
Hang in there, AM. Things should surely look better soon, for both you and i. We just have to slog out the next year of our lives.
Re: i think im getting closer allmusic76: Hell, a year?
I'm just trying to drudge up the guts to go home tonight lol. Christ, it's 8 minutes away. I could go home, have two burritos in the microwave and no one would be the wiser lol.
I spent every month but the last one completely devoted to Melissa. The day my son left I was heart broken. I just couldnt handle it. I blame myself for losing her. I know now that I was pretty preoccupied with myself and the way I was handling my son. I guess that's the trouble with emotions, is that sometimes they take complete control. She would tell me I needed to be more selfish, and when I finally was... she left me lol.
Hey... who knows maybe we'll start a two man barbershop quartet ( I'm aware of how random that is... and the fact that it's kinda weird for two people to be a quartet.)
Re: i think im getting closer lonewolf: Lol Ed. You mention Barbershop i immediately think of Ice Cube.
And yeah, a year, as i know i'm probably still going to be climbing this damn hill in a year. I can't speak for you, though.
Re: i think im getting closer allmusic76:
Lol... Ice Cube. Those were actually pretty good movies though.
I've actually considered writing a book based on what happened. I'm sure no one wants to read about all of this crap I've been going through, but the thought of it feels right, and I admit... it's probably a more healthy and therapeutic way of getting my ass to go home at night.
Re: i think im getting closer lonewolf: Damn it Ed, i just logged back on here as i suddenly feel like crying again... and i come to see this post.
Dude... i wish i can help you. Take the pain away. My anniversary is the first of the month... 8 days ago. This past one in November is the first one we haven't spoken to each other in 8 years - 7 of them together.
It kills me to read about the times you guys spent together. I feel the same. She was like no other person i have ever met, a total compliment. I was only happy whenevr she was with me. Too bad one little relapse on my part drove her away... she tried but couldn't get past it... it pains me that all we are now is a memory.
Ed, brother, i wish we could drink a beer together. :(
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