newbie is heartbroken, confused, sick... blah :( heartbrokenemma: Hi everyone, I'm new here and what happened to me happened very recently... a week and a day ago. I understand this is completely normal to be hurt but I'm wondering if it's normal just how bad I am hurting right now. Let's see, here are the things that i'm feeling and doing:
- can't look at food without feeling sick, so i'm not eating at all
- waking up so many times throughout the night crying
- the morning time is awful, I can't get my mind to stop worrying
- I have moments where I am like "ok yes I can do this" but then 5 minutes
later, I feel like I can't pick myself up off of the floor
- The CONSTANT worry :( My mind won't stop)
- I can't sleep alone, since it happened I have had to sleep with my mom
and I dont even live with her
- I constantly have to have someone talking to me, either face to face or
on the phone
A week and a day ago, my world literally fell apart. We had been doing the long distant thing for a little bit and I was about to move to be with him and I got a phone call saying, in such a cold heartless way, "Everything you do upsets me, I'm done with you and I dont even want to try"... well, we actually ended up spending the next three days together which I dont know if it was a mistake or not but by the third day, he had changed his mind from "I want nothing to do with you" to hinting around that he would give it a try maybe until Christmas. I guess what hurts is that he has really left it hanging in the air, I dont know if we are just "Taking a break" or if we are really over.
It seems from things such as myspace and his friends, that he is doing just fine and that drives me crazy!!! I am about to die here, my heart is hurting soooooo bad and he's just talking to this one girl that caused a lot of problems for us. I dont know what's going on with them, even though he did mention her in the breakup. When we broke up he also said he just wanted to be single but this girl has lots of baggage (namely 2 kids).
Will my heart ever mend? Loads of family and friends have said that they broke up with their now husband/wife before they got married and the ones who either broke up for good or the ones who got married then divorced always found someone even better than the first. I just can't imagine life without him and I can't imagine anyone better than him. I feel very lost right now and it's like, where do i go? What do I do? When I dated him, I got very co-dependent on him and pushed a lot of friends away, so now I feel like I just really dont have anyone... well I have some people but not a lot. I dont know where to turn. Help. What should I do and is this ever going to go away??
Just so everyone knows, me and him were not married but he told me he had expected to ask me very soon
Re: newbie is heartbroken, confused, sick... blah :( Crystal_Blue_024: Hey hun...
I'm not in the best place today to give advice... But I just wanted to say what you're feeling is completely normal, the depression can make even the simplest daily tasks seem impossible... Just do what you can to take care of yourself right now... Take each minute as it comes... Welcome to Ojar... We're all here to support you.... ((( HUGS )))
Re: newbie is heartbroken, confused, sick... blah :( chaotic: Trust me....you are normal.
Everything you listed happened to me as well as so many others here.
- can't look at food without feeling sick, so i'm not eating at all
I lost almost 30 pounds in less than 2 months
- waking up so many times throughout the night crying
You will eventually get thru the night. If you have a friend you can go to, go there to sleep. I spent many a night on my best friend's couch.
- the morning time is awful, I can't get my mind to stop worrying
This too passes with time. A week in, and you dont really know what will happen. As things become more concrete, this will lessen
- I have moments where I am like "ok yes I can do this" but then 5 minutes
later, I feel like I can't pick myself up off of the floor
Yeah, once again, this is so fresh for you. Be happy you are making it 5 minutes at a time. Those will eventually stretch to 10, then hours, then days, eventually you will feel better longer than you dont.
- The CONSTANT worry My mind won't stop)
See above about the mornings
- I can't sleep alone, since it happened I have had to sleep with my mom
and I dont even live with her
I spent many nights on my friend's couch. You would have thought I lived with him and his wife. It was just nice to have someone to talk to. Be glad you have family near.
- I constantly have to have someone talking to me, either face to face or
on the phone
Helps get your mind off things. Also helps bounce ideas off. This is good. Keep talking to as many people as you can. This is not something you should try to tackle alone.
Re: newbie is heartbroken, confused, sick... blah :( ezydriver: Hello.
I can categorically confirm that what you're going through is completely normal.
Right now it feels that you're never going to heal. I remember I spent six weeks off work. Everyday curled up screaming. One year on it still hurts to a degree but I'm laughing wholeheartedly, smiling, going out and eating. I was eating after a month or so.
There is so much to say here and I could fill four pages. But as time goes on all of us here will chip in and help with each issue as and when you post about them.
you're in the right place and soon enough you will see this forum as a god send.
Keep posting. We all care and more importantly, we've ALL been where you are now. It will take a month or two for this agony to pass, but when it does, although you wont be over him and will still get waves, it'll be more bearable.
Re: newbie is heartbroken, confused, sick... blah :( Caramon29: This sounds an awful lot like what has happened to me, including the myspace crap. I know what your feeling as I have felt the same way for over four weeks now. It does get better with time but it is still hard to cope with it. Once you give your heart and soul to another person, it's very difficult to reel it back in. Hang in there.
We're here for ya! ;D ;D
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