Re: newbie is heartbroken, confused, sick... blah :( 2be: Another vote for: It's perfectly normal.
I also want to add that although you will be HIGHLY tempted to do so, do NOT look at his myspace page or try to find out what is going on with him. All it will do is prolong your pain and healing. Hard as it is, try to break ALL contact with him, do not fall prey to finding out what he is up to... and concentrate on yourself. Eat small, healthy things... you'll even have to force yourself. If you're not eating at least a little, you'll suffer worse.
Everyone's time-table for healing is different, but for myself... I began to feel a bit more stable about 1.5 months out of my breakup. Still up and down but for the most part stable.
Good luck and keep posting here whenever you need it... it helps!
Re: newbie is heartbroken, confused, sick... blah :( erinmch2002: This sounds exacttly what i am going through right now, i have all the same symptoms and i feel as if I cant go another day. The situation seems closely related to mine almost as if i wrote it. Ditto with the needing advice, Ill do almost anything at this point to make the pain go away!
Re: newbie is heartbroken, confused, sick... blah :( Laura35: I wish my depression led me to stop eating... I'm the opposite - all I can think about even right now is running to the store to get some sweets (I don't keep many in the house because I'll eat them).
Plus, I have 0 friends in this town (still pretty new in it) so I rely on people on the phone. Don't want to run the bills too high or drive those people crazy. I would think friends are vital when you're going through such turmoil.
Re: newbie is heartbroken, confused, sick... blah :( surprised: That's pretty much how I felt for about the first month. After that I could eat like a normal person again. I've never slept well, so that was pretty much the same as always and mornings were always my worst time of day in the very beginning. So yeah, you're totally normal.
Re: newbie is heartbroken, confused, sick... blah :( MEP2006: My last serious heartbreak was two years ago when my fiance and I decided to call it quits and he moved in with a new girl two weeks later. I remember falling on the floor at 3 a.m. and sobbing into the carpet after reading his email telling me that there would never be a reconcilation between us. The next day I had to host a retreat for the board of directors where I work, and every half hour or so, I excused myself to the bathroom so I could sob into some balled up toilet paper.
I spent the next four months in the bathtub. I wish I were joking. I somehow managed to get myself to work, but when I got home, I'd come through the door, take off my coat, fill the tub and get into it. I read a book by Thomas Merton called "No Man Is An Island" and for some reason, it saved me (as did the anti-depressants, bottles and bottles and bottles of wine, and more cigarettes than I want to mention.) Food? Forget about it. I lost 17 pounds in two months, and I wasn't that big to start with. I had the worst insomnia, and when I did fall asleep, it was constantly interrupted with nightmares and jolts where I'd just wake up and remember all over again that he was gone and I was alone.
This time, I've been left for another woman, but I hear you on that "hurting on a whole new level" thing. My very recent ex was all tied up in my life in that he was father to my son, the promise of a husband, and the faithful friend forever. Until, of course, he decided that he just couldn't bear "the romance of it all" (which is code for: I'm back together with the other chick, but I'm too ashamed of myself to be honest about that. Instead, I'll just tell you I'm too depressed to be a good partner, and insist that you deserve better than me.) I'm hanging on to the precedent of my last break up. I thought it would kill me... and it didn't. I thought I would never sleep through the night again, never find another man attractive, never be able to keep food down! And none of those things turned out to be true. The human spirit is incredibly resilient. And I think we are designed to bear a lot more than we can imagine bearing at any one time. So, right now, you are in this moment to moment. You can't let yourself slug it out with ideas of a future you can't imagine right now. You are here. You are surrounded by people who have been exactly where you are, and have made it to the other side. You are in good company (even if it's not the company you want), and you need to take advantage of it. I'm so glad for this website. Every day, about 25 times a day, I'm grateful. Hold on, friend. This is going to pass.
