re-evaluating everything surprised: This whole break-up has made me re-evaluate my life. That's not surprising, right? I've come to some conclusions about what I want for myself. The irony is these conclusions are now more in line with the sort of future my ex wants. So then I have to ask myself, have I really come to these conclusions on my own, or is there a part of me that hopes that if I do things this way, he'll come back? It's hard to say, because the road I'm looking down does have a lot of room for personal and professional growth and it will make me happy, but it's not something I would have been considering if we had stayed together. So now I wonder if I should talk to him about what I've decided for myself and see if he wants to re-evaluate his stance on the state of our break-up and everything. But then I know if I do that, it looks like I'm saying, 'I've changed for you, come back to me.' When that's not really it, it's more like if what we want can mesh now, shouldn't we try again? I feel like I'm chasing my tail. I know I need time and he needs time, I guess I just feel like he deserves, as I do, to have all the information and facts before making any sort of decision about the rest of our lives.
Re: re-evaluating everything allmusic76: Ya know, I think back, and there are a lot of relationships I have had in the past that would have worked out better if i had been in them at different times in my life.
Maybe your conclusions lead you towards a future that might mesh better with his. Unfortunately, that's not the way life works. It moves forward. No matter what direction we move in emotionally, life always moves forward.
Even if your direction seems more in line with his now, that doesn't necessarily mean that you should try it again. It means that it might work out better, however, sometimes we just need to move on. It's sucky, I know. However, if you start thinking more about your future, than a future you might spend with someone, I think you will do a lot better for yourself.
You need to start making your considerations about you. He has made his decision. I agree, that a person SHOULD look at all of the facts before they make life changing decisions, unfortunately less than 1 % actually do. Most people make decisions based on their own desires, needs and wants, and they do it without a lot of thought. Ending a relationship isn't easy. most people dont have the stomach for it. They want to get out. Leaving someone invovles guilt and frustration and what ifs. And a lot of times, when we leave someone, we aren't doing it because we don't love them, but because we can't live with them anymore. The threshold we reach at that point depends entirely on the person.
worry about you, and your future. It seems to me that you have some pretty good prospects ahead. Chances are if you put as much energy into your future as you do thinking about this relationship, we'll all be reading about your success train and not even know about it.
Ed
Re: re-evaluating everything surprised: Thanks Ed. And I am thinking of my future, it's just I can't help but notice that more I think of it the way I think I want it to be now, the more I notice how nicely it would mesh with what he wants. But I did some thinking tonight (in a bubble bath, so nice...) anyway, I realized that regardless of this, I have to let him come to me, if he chooses too. Then at least we can talk and see where things go from there. I'm just really having trouble believing that this is really and truly over. I guess I'm just stubborn.
