What should I do?????? Palmer2205: Newbie here.
Thankyou for having these boards here. They have helped me get thru some difficult days. I know I am not alone and that I can survive. This gets me past the waves of dispare.
About 3 months ago my wife wanted a separation. I had not been putting in the effort and showing the love that my wife deserved. I had taken my marriage and family for granted. I was addicted to video roleplaying games. My wife had become broken. She left for the weekend to work on her broken self and decide If she wanted to stay in the marriage. I had an apiphany. I realized what I had done to my best friend, lover and wife. I saw many of my mistakes and made some immediate and drastic changes in my life. I was not the person I wanted to be. I vowed to change and be a better person. I wanted to change for myself and for my loved ones. I did change. The changes I made were to little and too late though.
My wife moved into her own place last week. We have 2 fantastic kids together. They are living with her during the week and with me on the weekends. My wife and I are in contact with each other about every day.
She told me a few days ago that she doesn't love me anymore. It hurts. Everytime I see or talk to her, my wounds are reopened. It is so hard to heal in this situation. I need to see my kids, I need to give my wife space, I am in contact with her often and my heart rips everytime I see her. My wife does not want a divorce. She wants separation from me to heal from her broken self.
Maybe we could get back together once she has recovered. I am in limbo. I want my wife to see the new loving and changed me. She wants space away from me. I want her to realize what she will be missing if she leaves me for good. She does things to be nice to me. She doesn't love me. Can she get it back? She was so broken before.
I know the heartache will eventually get better. Should I wait in pain for her to possibly be ready to work on our relationship again? and have love again? Or should I accept that she won't love me again and begin the process for divorce and a new begining?
I love my wife. I am breaking inside and I don't know how much more I can take.
Re: What should I do?????? Laura35: I don't think (though I can't speak for her) that she is doing all this to hurt you and probably she hurts too. I'm pretty much in your wife's situation right now, though without kids (reading your first lines, I became convinced you were my husband...). I think you should not talk to her every day - the only chance for her to figure out if she wants to go back is to give her some time to miss you and figure out exactly what she misses about you.
When I was talking to him and seeing him every day, the whole separation seemed like a joke because it was just us living separately but we were the same together and the cycle of co-dependence was the same. I think she needs to see how it really is to be without you. I understand it's hard for the kids, but maybe they're more adaptable than adults and she's the one who needs to figure things out.
Oh, God, yes, the video games... That was driving me crazy. Even tried to get involved with them for a while so I'd understand him better, but it didn't last me long.
