At This Point startingover: I really hope it is cancer and it's over with.
Re: At This Point vdc_1975: Dont say that tatt!!!
I know its easy to say I hope they find out its X so that at least you finally know what is wrong and you dont have to have any more tests, but dont ever HOPE That it is cancer.
GL
Re: At This Point idocsteve: You may be having a major depressive episode, which is characterized by many symptoms, which includes:
Death. The patient has had repeated thoughts about death (other than the fear of dying), suicide (with or without a plan) or has made a suicide attempt.
If you are not currently getting treatment, please look into doing so.
Re: At This Point startingover: I know what your saying vdc, and what I am saying is self defeating, but I'm out of fight.
Everyone said they would step up to the plate for me, but no one has been there when I have needed them. I'm scared and alone.
Idoc--I've had a couple of bouts of depression in the past. What I went to for the dr in the first place wasn't depression. I know the difference. I'm not suicidal.
I'm hurt that everyone who said they would be there for me through all of it has lied.
Re: At This Point sheydp: I don't know the story of who said they would be there for you... but are you sure they lied? Sometimes people are there for us in a way that is different than we expect. They may not support our decisions - because to them, "being there" means helping you to what they think is the best decision. Many times my best friends have not supported me in doing something I later realized was wrong. They didn't sympathize or empathize - because I was being selfish. Their actions helped me, although at the time I didn't feel supported at all.
Also, sometimes people WANT to be there for you - but you are not their only committment... I want to be there for all my friends, but if more than one at a time is having a crisis, I can't be there for all of them... and if it is my children having a crisis at the same time, I am not there for my friends. That isn't because I don't care, or don't want to be there, or won't be there the next time - people just have full lives. Sometimes people can't be there for you because they themselves need support at that time, and they just have nothing to give.
Unfortunately, in support from others - timing is everything. Please don't feel you can't trust people because they can't be 100% reliable... that doesn't mean they don't care. The most reliable work employee can still get the flu. The best of friends and family are the same.
Shey
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